


Go Your Own Way

by somniumfelix



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Adventure, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Aroace Regulus, Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, First War with Voldemort, Fix-It, Fluff, Found Family, Gen, Getting Back Together, Horcrux Hunting, Horcruxes, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Letters, M/M, Marauders hunt for Horcruxes, Minor Violence, Post-Break Up, Post-Hogwarts, Pre-Halloween 1981, Queerplatonic Relationships, Regulus Black Lives, Slow Burn, The Marauders - Freeform, Unforgivable Curses (Harry Potter)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-07
Updated: 2021-03-04
Packaged: 2021-03-18 04:34:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 34,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28612140
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somniumfelix/pseuds/somniumfelix
Summary: Regulus felt weak, in more ways than one. Every shallow breath was like a blaze over his ribs, and the throbbing pain on his ankles and wrists never stopped, like he could feel the hands around his leg, grabbing and tightening, leaving dark bruises in their wake. He desperately wanted to take a moment to breathe. But when the thought of everything sent shivers up his spine, he knew he didn't have time. Or energy.He'd been so close to death. So close, and no one had cared. So, when he had not the power, but the possibility, to change everything, was he prepared to just sit back?*"Exactly, James!, "Sirius nodded with a grin, "Moony and I will keep fighting, and we'll find the Horcruxes!""What," Vaughan scoffed, "You're just going to find all the Horcruxes and figure out how to destroy them? No one knows how to do that!"Remus would figure it out, Sirius knew.[Regulus Black survives and does the right thing, the Marauders hunt for Horcruxes, and everyone changes their own fates.]
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Comments: 120
Kudos: 170





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> (The title is from Go Your Own Way by Fleetwood Mac!)
> 
> Additional notes:  
> There will be at least one letter per chapter between the different characters!  
> Gwyar is an OC I've written to give Regulus's side of the story more depth and add more tension. I've never written an OC before but I found it really enjoyable! I hope you love him as much as I and my friends do!!  
> I have a backlog of chapters and will be posting once a week! I don't really have a full plan for this fic, and have come up with multiple endings. Will it be 7 chapters? Will it be 35? Who knows~~ 
> 
> Thank you, Oli, for beta-reading this! And thank you to everyone on the SL server who's helped give me ideas, brainstorm and enjoyed my ranting and raving~ <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: 
> 
> -Near-death experience/mentions of drowning

_ To the Dark Lord - I know I will be dead long before you read this, but I want you to know that it was I who discovered your secret. I have stolen the real Horcrux and intend to destroy it as soon as I can. I face death in the hope that when you meet your match, you will be mortal once more. - R.A.B. _

***

_ 29th December 1979 _

_ To Gwy, as much as you hate me calling you that. _

_ I shan't send you something cryptic as I did for the Dark Lord - you deserve at least a little better than that. By the time you read this, I'll be long gone. If, by some miracle, I'm not, then I'm sure I'll be there, at your pathetic little cottage soon enough, complaining about the cheap tea that you own. Please, upon my potential arrival, make sure you have a steaming teapot of Harney and Sons waiting for me.  _

_ In reality - I thank you for your companionship over the years. Stay safe. _

_ R.A.B. _

_ P.S. If  _ _ he _ _ should ask where I am, you have no idea. _

***

Regulus's legs seemed to collapse underneath him. He landed on the floor, on his knees, one dripping hand pressed to the ground. A chesty cough sent water and blood to the carpet, and he gasped and guttered for air, clutching at his chest in agony. His whole body hurt. Flames seemed to dance on his insides, burning up his throat, in the depths of his stomach, raging in his heart and veins. Regulus felt weak, in more ways than one. Every shallow breath was like a blaze over his ribs, and the throbbing pain on his ankles and wrists never stopped, like he could feel the hands around his leg, grabbing and tightening, leaving dark bruises in their wake.

His clothes clung to his skin, the white shirt near enough see-through and trousers skin tight. He desperately wanted to take off his shoes and tip out the water, get rid of the odious feeling of wet socks clinging to the soles of his feet and take a moment to breathe. But when the mere thought of  _ that _ sent shivers up his spine, when remembering everything that had and would happen terrified him, he knew he didn't have time. Or energy.

"G-Gwyar-" Regulus choked out, trying to shout, coughing up more water. 

The room stayed silent.

He wondered, for a moment, if in all the panic, he'd apparated somewhere else. There was no meeting called, so surely the house wouldn't be empty. He needed someone. He needed  _ him _ . He needed badly made tea and the incessant scratching of a calligraphy pen, or hands in his hair and fingers fiddling with his collar.

It was then that he heard the creaking of a floorboard. A huff, and the living room door swung open.

"Ah," A voice sighed. It was calm, collected, if not a little amused, and sent a rush of tranquillity flooding over Regulus's body. "Of all the outcomes, this wasn't exactly what I expected."

"T-the support I'm feeling," Regulus heaved, "Is overwhelming."

Pushing up on weak arms, he ended up on his hands and knees, feebly lifting his head to look over to the doorway. 

Regulus knew how Gwyar looked like the back of his hand. He knew the placement of every single freckle, and how he referred the sheer amount of constellations he could see among them. He knew the way his sandy hair curled at the ends, how he chose what rings to wear that day, and exactly how he signed off his letters. He could name every shade of blue in his eyes and could remember just how they narrowed when he glared.

Now, as Regulus looked up with a clouded view, his hair falling in front of his eyes and water still heavy on his lashlines, all he saw was a blur of a dark suit and a cream reefer coat.

"I don't particularly know what you expect me to say, Reg. You should-"

"It's Regulus, not Reg."

"You should have known that was going to happen when you got yourself into this mess. Not that I know much better, of course," Gwyar tagged on quickly, walking over to the kitchen. He opened up one of the drawers, trying to ignore both the loose handle and Regulus's panting in the background, and pulled out four tea towels. "Well, go on then. Tell me what happened."

Regulus had known Gwyar since their first year of Hogwarts. Gwyar was disliked by their house for reasons unknown to him at the time, and Regulus was disliked for being the one with the Gryffindor brother. They'd stuck together, of course, and worked their way up beside one another, building up an unlikely friendship along the way. Regulus's family approved, and left them to it, which was all either boy had asked for.

So when Regulus was in trouble, he knew exactly who to go to.

"Where's the tea?" Regulus asked. 

"Your arrival was unexpected. Not to mention I'd rather you complain about no tea, than the 'cheap crap' you hate to drink."

Gwyar walked back over to Regulus, who'd shifted to sit with his legs tucked beneath him and back hunched over, and crouched down beside him. 

"I nearly drowned."

"Well," Gwy leered, looking Regulus up and down, taking in the soaking clothes and dripping hair. "That much is obvious."

Regulus said nothing back, instead glaring halfheartedly. 

Chucking three of the tea towels to the floor, Gwyar took the remaining one and rubbed Regulus's hair, trying to dry it off. The younger boy's panting had slowed, and his breathing began to return to normal as Gwy exhaustedly slipped a hand through his hair. He moved nimble fingers down, toying with the top button of Regulus's shirt, struggling to undo it one-handedly. He was shivering, trembling under his hands, Gwyar could feel it; could feel Regulus's icy skin beneath his fingertips, even if he'd never admit to being cold.

"Horcruxes," Regulus muttered out, lowering his head for Gwyar to dry the shorter hairs at the back, as well as his neck and the top of his now-exposed shoulders. 

"Huh?"

"Horcruxes," He echoed, "Voldemort's made Horcruxes."

Gwyar furrowed his brows. 

"Horcruxes? But... but-"

"I don't know what you're going to ask, but I know you already know the answer. Yes, he figured out how to make them. Yes, he doesn't care about his  _ lack of humanity _ . Yes, he's made more than one."

"More than one? Then how many?"

Regulus shifted. He moved his legs from underneath him, and stretched them out, rubbing at his sore and swollen knees through the fabric of his trousers. His head stayed lowered. "I don't know," He admitted, rather defiantly. "I don't know."

"You're not telling me something," Gwyar said. Regulus looked up, taking in his partners hair, his eyes, the freckles, his tight lips, and the way worry consumed his expression. "Regulus..."

"I have one."

Neither moved. The room filled with the sound of quiet breaths, of linen rubbing on hair, and the clock in the kitchen, ticking away in the background.

"A Horcrux," Regulus clarified, "I have one of them."

"You... You have one of the Dark Lord's Horcruxes?!"

"Yes, I-"

"Regulus! Are you an idiot? You... you..." Gwyar shot upright, tossing down the towel to join the others, and began pacing the room, his hands buried deep in his hair and tugging. 

"Gwyar, I know how-"

"No, Reg, you don't! He'll kill you! He will! You- you need to get rid of it, now. Give it back, put it back where you found it, something. This-" Gwyar shrugged off his coat and blazer, pulling up his black shirt sleeve, showing off the red mark on his forearm, "-Means nothing to him, okay? If he thinks you've gotten in the way of his work... then Merlin bless our souls because he'll be after you. What on Earth possessed you?"

"It's why he wanted Kreacher. Wanted him to put the Horcrux in a protective place. If I didn't, then... He'd have died, Vaughan, okay?"

"Last names now, hm? Okay then, Black."

"Gwyar."

"No, Regulus. He's a house-elf! You should have left him! Left him, left the Horcrux, and that would be that!"

Regulus jumped to his feet, swaying on the spot and reaching out. Despite the anger coursing through his veins, Gwyar stopped his pacing, rushing to catch his friend before he fell. 

"I wasn't going to leave him," Regulus spat through gritted teeth.

Gwyar couldn't help the sharp laugh that slipped from his lips. "I thought I was the impulsive one. You're Mr 'calculate every move'."

Straightening his back, Regulus tightened his jaw, rolling his shoulders backwards and flicking his hair from out of his face, glaring up at Gwyar who still seemed to be smiling. 

"So what now, hm?" He asked with a shrug, the corners of his lips twitching. "You're gonna give it back, or what?"

"No."

"No?"

"I'm not giving it back. I'm going to find a way to destroy it."

Gwyar grabbed one of Regulus's wrists to tug him forward, but let go the second he winced. He picked up his arm, more gently this time, and looked at the dark bruises on his wrist, circling. There were marks where pads of fingers dug into his flesh, and half crescent shapes where fingernails had done the same, causing scratching and bleeding on Regulus's skin. Most people would need time to think. The Dark Lord stood for everything Gwyar pretended to believe in, and Regulus was a reckless idiot for trying to get in his way, even if he was not opposing Voldemort directly. But seeing Reg in his arms, shaking from the cold, bruises over his body, and looking at him through tired eyes, his resolve crumbled.

Gwyar pursed his lips together, sighing, and shook his head in defeat.

"Okay."

"Okay?" Regulus questioned, tilting his head and focusing on Gwyar, grey eyes meeting blue.

"Okay. If you want to destroy the Horcrux, then we will."

"We? Gwy- there is no  _ we _ in this situation! I'm not asking for your permission. You're not my boyfriend."

"No, I'm not. But you're still hopeless without me," He deadpanned. "Let's get serious here, Reg," (Regulus scoffed), "As much your family is into all of this Pureblood Supremacy - they're going to be fun to deal with, by the way, when they find out about this - it's not as though you have the best reputation. You might be fine, but a certain older brother of yours-"

Gwyar was cut off by a drawn-out, huffed groan from Regulus. "Firstly, my parents won't know. As of now, they think I valiantly died while assisting the Dark Lord, thanks to Kreacher. Which, had I not gotten out, wouldn't have been a total lie, I'm sure. I forbade him to give any details, considering their...  _ connections _ , particularly with Lestrange. And secondly, it's always you to bring him up, you know? Never me. I often wonder if you'd prefer his company over mine."

"With  _ that one _ tagging along?" Gwyar snarled, "I think not."

"Who? Potter?" Regulus asked, even though he knew who he was referring to.

"Not Potter, and not the other one. I mean Lupin. The werewolf."

Letting the argument drop - it never seemed to come to a proper conclusion when Lupin came up, just the build-up of more and more frustration, until they left the topic - Regulus sighed.

"Speaking of the elder Black brother," Gwyar continued, refraining from carrying on the conversation.

"What about him?"

"You need to tell him."

"Over my dead body."

Gwyar snickered. "That's the irony, if you don't tell him, it shall be over your dead body. As much as you hate to admit it, he's useful. Knows his stuff and has talent. You need him as much as you need me."

"I don't need either of you, I ought to remind you."

"Yes, you do," Gwyar argued. "Perhaps you can say you don't need me - which you do, by the way, Parseltongue here. But you need Sirius, you always have."

"I really don't think you're the best person to talk to me about my sibling or family issues, Gwy."

" _ Anyway _ ," Gwy coughed. "I really think you should write to him. But first, we should get you warmed up, and take a look at those bruises."

***

Metal clinked against porcelain, at Gwyar's end of the table, as he stirred his tea, then Regulus's, and pushed the second mug across the table.

Regulus looked more like himself, and Gwy was grateful. While he was typically a pale person, with more washed out skin that had his pale freckles standing out, there was a tinge of pink to his cheeks, hardly noticeable. He'd warmed up from the shower, and his damp hair was beginning to dry, no longer flat on his forehead. He took the mug, curling thin fingers around it and lifting it to his lips. He took a small sip, before setting the cup down once more. One hand stayed holding it, warming him up ever so slightly. 

Regulus sunk further into his seat, hunching over, staring at the wood grain on the table. "I need... I need to hide," He said, running a finger over the rim of the mug and trying not to yawn. "And soon. I can't let you get involved. You can't get wrapped up in this mess."

_ You turned up to  _ my _ home,  _ Gwy seethed in his head.  _ You came to  _ my _ house, told  _ me _ about his plans, and you're  _ my _ friend. _

"You already have gotten me wrapped up in this mess," Gwyar settled on with a sharp laugh.

"I know. You don't need to follow in what I've done or what I want to do."

"I know."

The kitchen clock ticked on in the background.

"Look, we know this is all an act. Me, I mean," Gwy clarified. "We both know why I'm a Death Eater, and we both know I want out.  _ This  _ wasn't how I planned on going about it, but when life gives you lemons."

"But-"

"I wanted out. You know that. It might take time, but you've given me an opening."

Regulus gave a bitter chuckle, shaking his head and sipping his tea once more. "You're really ready to give up that Pureblood reputation you've built for yourself?" He asked, teasing.

"Oh yeah, because  _ everyone  _ buys it." Gwy rolled his eyes.

"The Dark Lord did."

"Or he was desperate."

"Both."

"First, however, we need to talk."

"About?" Regulus questioned, resting his chin on his free hand.

"A few things," Gwy said. "Where is it?"

"Where's what?"

"You know exactly what."

Regulus glared at him with dull eyes, and fought back another yawn. "Grimmauld Place."

"With Kreacher?"

"Yes. I... I didn't... well, I didn't think I'd make it. I instructed him to destroy and dispose of it."

"Do you think he has?"

"No," Regulus admitted, "I don't. Not yet, and perhaps not ever."

"What is it?" Gwyar then asked, leaning back against his chair, stroking his chin in a way that had Regulus thinking he looked far too old. Far too sophisticated for eighteen, too proper for the environment he grew up in.

"As in, the object he used?"

"Yes."

"I'm not sure. I didn't get a particularly good look at it." Regulus squeezed his eyes shut, pursing his lips as he tried to think, tried to remember what was happening while pretending he couldn't still feel the burning over his body or the tightness in his chest. "It was a yellow necklace of sorts. Rather large and heavy."

"Anything else you can remember?"

"There might have been marks and engravings but- for Merlin's sake, Gwy! I felt like I was burning alive and looked at it for about three seconds before sending Kreacher on his way and almost drowning!"

Throwing his hands up in mock surrender, Gwyar laughed, "Okay, okay, I get it! I was only asking! Come on, now, tell me everything."

Regulus did. He explained how he drank a strange potion, and the feeling of it travelling in his throat. He described lashing out, screaming at Krecher, and feeling like he was letting go for the first time ever. He told about how he could feel his lungs filling up, the hands around his ankles dragging him down, down, down. He said about how the last thought he had, the last thought he presumed he'd  _ ever  _ have, was of Gwyar Vaughan in his cottage. 

"Shit..." Gwy muttered, not intending Regulus to hear him as he pressed his mouth into his palm.

"Shit indeed."

Gwyar bought his mug to his lips and took a sip of his tea, before cringing at the taste, having forgotten to add sugar. He stood up, pushing back the chair with a disgusting screech, and heading to the kitchen counter. He couldn't think about that anymore. He couldn't think about Regulus in pain.

"So, where do you want to go?"

"Hm?"

"Where do you want to go?" Gwyar repeated, grabbing the sugar pot from the shelf he knew was too tall for Regulus to reach. "You need to hide somewhere. I won't have you constantly moving about."

Reg yawned, his head falling back as he gazed up at the ceiling. His eyelids felt impossibly heavy, as though he was moments away from closing them. He felt leaden, lethargic, as though the water was still weighing him down, or the Inferi still had a grip on his limbs. He could, in the background, over the clock and the wind, hear Gwyar adding sugar to his tea, stirring it, and tapping the spoon on the side of the mug.

He couldn't take sleeping on the couch tonight. Hopefully Gwyar would let him have the bed.

"Where did you grow up?" Regulus asked after a moment, not looking down. It wasn't the quiet, nervous tone often associated with Regulus when he queried about Gwyar's childhood. No. He seemed insistent, recalcitrant and naturally curious.

Gwyar froze, his hand hovering mid-air as he bought it down from the shelf again.

"Where didn't I grow up," He scoffed.

"You know what I mean.

"Birmingham. Right in the city centre. Punks, drugs, the lot."

"Ah, of course."

"You're dragging me back to Birmingham?" Gwyar laughed harshly, bringing his mug back to the table and sitting once more. He couldn't help but glare at his friend. "After all this time, after everything, you're making me go back?"

"No," Regulus shook his head. "I have a plan."

Gwy chuckled lightly, and a genuine smile graced his lips, perhaps the first since his friend turned up. Regulus didn't come up with plans. He followed, listened to others, did as he was told with no arguments. Yet, since Gwyar had last seen him (November the 3rd, as Reg didn't want to be alone on such a date), Regulus Arcturus Black seemed to be a changed man.

"Well then, do tell. Don't leave me in the dark!"

"You won't like it."

"You say that as though I like any of this."

"You'll hate me for it."

"I'd never hate you."

Regulus took in an audible breath.

"You need to be a spy," He said slowly, straightening his back. "You stay with them, get what information you can, mourn over-"

"What?!"

"Gwy-"

"No, Regulus, no! I won't do it!" Gwyar slammed his fists on the table. His tea spilt over the side of the mug. The table shook, and the clock still ticked on. "This- this is already so much! What am I meant to do, pretend you're dead?! Pretend I don't care?! For how long, hm? A month? A year? Longer? No, Regulus, you can't expect that of me! It's absurd-"

"Gwyar Christopher Vaughan, shut up and listen to me!"

Regulus was stood up, the chair falling to the floor with a loud and hollow thud and his hands slamming onto the table. The sounds echoed around the cottage, drowning out the ticking from the clock and the dripping from the sink and Gwyar's panicked breathing. Regulus huffed, trying to calm down, but his nostrils stayed flared, and he made no move to sit back down.

"What you will do," he said through gritted teeth, "Is act as if nothing changed. You will do everything as normal, but keep an ear out. Any word of Horcruxes, where they are or how to destroy them, and you pay attention  _ safely _ . I really can't do this without you, Gwyar. You said it yourself, maybe the fact you're a Parselmouth will come in handy."

"That's all you need me for? Another language?" He asked, half-joking.

"That," Regulus smiled, "And because you mean a great deal to me. Your support, however reluctant, is greatly desired."

Could Gwyar do it? He'd spent years building up a reputation, convincing the Wizarding World of who he was with no proof. He'd made a life for himself. A home, a name, and alliance with the Dark Lord himself who trusted him enough to receive the Dark Mark along with Regulus, and yet, would he give it all up in a moment? He'd be risking his life. If Voldemort should find out, he began to wonder, but stopped when a chill ran down his spine. The pain wasn't worth thinking about. 

But then... he thought of Regulus. 

Voldemort had put Regulus in danger. Nearly killed him. The same Regulus from one of the most Nobel Pureblood families there were (discounting the handful of traitors amongst them). If blood, if Pure Wizarding blood, was so important, then why would Regulus - and he, and Lucius, and any other Pure Blooded followers- be put in harm's way so often?

Gwyar stood up, abandoning his untouched mug, not caring about the spilt tea or anything else in that cottage that needed tending to. 

He smiled at Regulus.

"Come on, then."

***

_ 19th February 1980 _

_ R.A.B. _

_ See, I'm using your strange sign off as an introduction.  _

_ Your mother wrote to me, I should inform you. While consumed with grief over your 'loss', you should know that she's proud you died fighting for the right side, even if she believes the Dark Lord took his efforts too far. _

_ The irony. _

_ In other news: I regret to inform you that on the 9th of January 1980, your father Orion Black passed away from a stroke. His funeral was on the 20th of January, and your mother apologises that she did not let me know in time to ask me to come. There was no funeral for you, I should say. _

_ (I have written out a copy of the letter for you to read. It seemed inappropriate to keep you out of the loop, so to speak.) _

_ But enough of the formalities.  _

_ How have you been? _

_ I'm not sure why I started writing this, other than to let you know of Walburga's correspondence. It's about three in the morning now, and I couldn't sleep. I got out that writing set - the one you gave to me on my eighteenth, that I always said was too gorgeous to use - and began writing.  _

_ I understand that it's only been a month and a half, really, but I miss you an awful lot. Without your terrible dry humour or tea (that is far too posh), it's quiet in the cottage, even if you only visited every once in a while. It feels empty as though there's no life here. Nothing exciting has been happening with the Dark Lord, nor his followers, myself included. There have been a couple of altercations with Dumbledore and his Order, but that's all. I've tried to find something, anything, about these Horcruxes, but nothing has been mentioned. Are you sure it was a Horcrux? _

_ How's the muggle life treating you? I know you can't leave the apartment often, other than for the necessities, but I hope Birmingham is to your liking. It's an interesting city, that's certain. It's nicer than some of the others in the midlands, though, and there's some strange satisfaction knowing you're close to where I grew up. I hope no one is suspicious of you. You'd let me know if anything seemed to be going wrong, yes?  _

_ I worry about you, Regulus. Every day. _

_ Please stay safe. I'd like a friend to talk to once this has all finished, whichever side you or I are on when that happens. _

_ My best to you. _

_ Yours, G.C.V _

_ P.S. And would you look at that, I seem to have taken your sign off as my own. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's chapter two!  
> I hope everyone enjoys this as much as they enjoyed the first chapter!  
> Love and health to you all <3
> 
> Trigger Warnings: 
> 
> -None

_22nd April 1980_

_R.A.B_

_I received no reply to my last letter, but I think it was simply intercepted. I was only asking how you were, so it's no matter of urgency. This, however, is. I discovered something (nay, someone) of some importance. A little to you, I assume. It's something that we shouldn't speak of over letter, just in case, so I'm going to come and visit as soon as I can, yes?_

_I can't wait if I'm honest. I haven't seen you since I left you in Birmingham, so I'm looking forward to seeing you again, even under such circumstances._

_My best to you._

_Yours, G.C.V_

***

Regulus poured the tea from the teapot into the cup, then into the second, before setting it back on the kitchen counter. He added sugar into one of them, a drop of milk into both, before carrying them on their saucers over to the living room. His heart hammered with anxiety he wasn't used to feeling, not lately. Being cooped up safe, protected by wards, away from murderous dictators and abusive parents, Regulus had relaxed more in the last four months than he ever had before. However, with Gwyar looking at him with pity from the armchair, he couldn't seem to push back the small feeling of panic. 

The apartment was dull and drab. The couch had odd stains on it that Regulus didn't even want to think about, the curtains were thin and let in the incandescence from the streetlights at night. The handles on the kitchen cupboards were moments away from falling off, and he was still gobsmacked that the muggle kettle hadn't exploded the first (and only) time he'd used it.

He passed one of the teas over to Gwyar, before taking the other and settling on the sofa. 

"So," Regulus started, taking a sip. "What was so urgent? You wrote to me and not even an hour after I receive it, you're here. This ought to be serious."

Gwyar kept his hand tight around his drink. "I was wondering what you could tell me about your brother and his friends."

"You went to school with them too, you know."

"Yes, but you know more than me. Tell me about them as if I'd never heard of them before."

Regulus sighed, sitting up straight. Gwy had a reason for everything and did everything for a reason, he knew, and decided to humour him. "Okay. They met in their first year, the four of them. Sirius Black, James Potter, Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin. They discovered Remus was a Werewolf and it all came out in the open in their second year. Fifth-year they became Animagi, but they don't know I know that. Sixth-Year, my brother and the Werewolf got together, and in the Seventh, James got with a Miss Lily Evans, now Lily Potter, much to Severus's dismay. James and Lily are expecting a child, Remus and Sirius live together, and Peter is in his childhood home alone now that his parents have passed away. Now, unless you want me to write a two-foot essay on each of their personalities and backstory, I'd appreciate an explanation, Gwyar."

"Pettigrew," Gwyar muttered, staring into space. "Tell me more about him."

"I swear- Fine! There's really nothing to know. Strange kid, kind, not the smartest but had his friends help. Half-blood, Animagus is a rat, generally an alright person, but I can't say I spoke to him more than once or twice, not as I did with Lupin. Good guy as far as I know."

Gwyar took a slow sip of his tea, then settled the cup and saucer in his lap. "He's a Death Eater, too."

Taking in a sharp breath, Regulus pressed his lips into a thin line as Gwy smirked.

"...I beg your pardon?"

"Peter Pettigrew, your brother's dearest friend, is a Death Eater alongside me."

"He is?"

"He is. Whereas I'm now on one side and spying on them," Gwyar explained, "He is on the other side spying for us. He's a part of the Order, and in place to bring information directly from Dumbledore to Voldemort. As of now, no one suspects him. Dumbledore seems to have no idea that there's a worm amongst them."

"And why," Regulus began, not bothering to hide the impatience in his voice from his friend, "Does that matter to me, exactly? My mother has fallen ill, my father has not long passed on, I have one of the greatest wizards likely hunting me down, wishing I'd be hung, drawn and quartered, and yet you're here to tell me that my pitiful older brother's friend is a spy? In case you hadn't noticed, Gwyar, I have more important things to worry about."

"My apologies," Gwyar smiled, not even the slightest bit of empathy in his voice, "But I thought you ought to know. Not only do you still love your brother, whether you'll admit it or not, you cared an _awful lot_ about Lupin for a while," He said slyly. Regulus curled his hands into fists, digging his nails into his palm, just as Gwy let out a light-hearted laugh. "I'm teasing, mostly."

Standing up from the sofa, Regulus placed his tea gently on the coffee table, then walked over to the window. He clasped his hands behind his back and looked over the skyline. The view from his apartment was like the rest of Birmingham - dull, discoloured, dreary, all accompanied by shouting at odd hours and the strange smell in that one corner of the laundrette. The sun was about to set, but instead of the gorgeous hues of yellow and orange that Regulus had become accustomed to back at Merthyr Mawr, the sky was grey and overcast.

"Sirius's problems are not mine, and the same applies to Lupin. If they find out about Peter on their own accord, then they can deal with that however they wish, but I'm not about to do anything."

"You won't tell him?"

"No, of course not. I have no reason to. Sirius hasn't spoken to me in five years now. He's nothing to me."

"That's a lie."

Regulus hated when Gwyar was right. 

"I don't care," He settled on, turning around and giving Gwy what he hoped was an unnerving smile.

"Not at all?"

"No. Not at all."

"Not even if it put Lupin in danger?"

Taking in a sharp breath, Regulus pursed his lips. Gwyar looked too smug, too content, as though he knew he'd struck a nerve and was waiting for the moment Regulus would snap. "Anything with Remus Lupin and I are long gone. Get that into your head. I don't care about him, and even if I did, I don't care about him enough to save his, or Evans', or Potter's skin, okay?"

Gwyar scowled in defeat, before shaking his head again. "Look, Reg- come on, please. For me."

"What's this, the heir of the Vaughan family bloodline, begging?"

"Oh come off of it, Regulus. He's your _family_. You have family, and you have a family that now needs your help!"

"What's gotten you to change your tune?" Regulus asked. Four months before, the idea of supporting anyone but Voldemort seemed absurd to Gwyar. Yet here he was, pleading with Regulus to, what, help? Help his brother of all people?

"I don't know, okay? Maybe I've missed you-"

"Touching."

"Maybe I've realised that- that I don't want to do this anymore. You have the ability to help someone, with a letter, a short conversation, anything."

Regulus huffed in laughter. "Even if I did want to help, Sirius thinks I'm dead. I'm not exactly in a position to return. I didn't plan ahead and make Horcruxes," He pointed out with the quirk of his lips and settling back on the couch. 

Gwyar's brows furrowed, and his lips seemed only a twitch away from sneering, before he plastered on a smile and stood up. 

"I ought to go."

"Gwy-"

"Reg, it's fine. I'm not going to do anything because he's your brother, and you know none of them like me. And let's be honest, if Lupin gets to a letter from me before your brother does, then we'll never get anywhere. Just... consider it, okay?"

Regulus opened his mouth to speak, but before any words came out, Gwyar had apparated away.

He wasn't sure why his hands were twitching, or why he had the urge to settle at the small desk and write to Sirius. There was no need to warn him, was there? As much as Regulus loathed to admit it, Sirius was strong, and smart, and he could easily handle the situation himself. 

He could write to Lupin, Regulus wondered for a moment, before realising that the moment Remus saw his name, or Gwyar's, the letter would be burnt without any consideration. Not to mention writing out of the blue, declaring that not only he was alive, but that their childhood friend had stabbed them in the backs and twisted the knife, likely wouldn't go down well. 

Still, with these thoughts in his mind, remembering how this was all doomed to fail, Regulus wondered why he was walking over to the desk. 

_22nd April 1980_

_Sirius._

~~_It's me, Regulus._~~ _I know this is out of the blue, but I'm alive. I did some_ _rather stupid_ _incredibly dumb_ _interesting things. I know you were told I was dead, which was an elaborate ruse._

 _However, me being alive is not why I_ _wanted _ _needed to write._ _I_ _Gwyar_ _a friend of mine, a Death Eater, has discovered some... disturbing information that I expect you'd want to know about, and rather soon. I wonder if we ~~c~~_ ~~_an meet up soon, so I can explain all this shit_~~

"Okay," Regulus snorted, slamming his forehead onto the desk and likely smudging ink over his cheeks. "This isn't happening."

_Fuck you, Gwy._

Regulus had no need to write to him. His brother was perfectly capable of looking after himself.

Wasn't he?

***

_16th May 1980_

_G.C.V._

_Happy birthday, Gwyar. I wish, had this year gone differently, we could have done something as a celebration. Perhaps for your 20th? I'd have said for my 19th, but I highly doubt things will have calmed down by July._

_I miss you. Is there any chance you could come and visit me soon? I know it's a lot to ask, especially if nothing important has happened, but staying here on my own is a task and a half. I don't know how you did it for so many years._

_I went to Odeon, that Muggle cinema, a few days ago to see Friday The 13th. It was interesting, but I can't say the whole thing was very believable. I blame the fact that they don't have magic. Although, between you and I, I did have to sleep with the lights on the night after. Childhood memories, perhaps? The main character reminded me a little of my cousin._

_What have you been up to? I know you'd have written to me if something had happened that I needed to know about, but I feel I should ask anyway. Are you keeping safe?_

_I can't believe I'm going to ask this, but have you any word on anyone else? Is my brother okay? I know the Potter's are expecting soon, in a month I believe, which will be nice for all of them. Any news on Peter? I'm not sure why I care._

_I've been thinking a lot about what you said, about family. I'm not ready to write to Sirius, whether it's concerning myself or Pettigrew, but I'll consider it. That being said, remember you are my family too. It's not imperative to be a lone wolf, you know?_

_Please, write back soon._

_R.A.B_

***

Regulus hated hugs. 

Perhaps it was because, when he felt someone's arms wrapped around him, he next expected to feel a sharp burning sensation up his spine, just as his mother had caused when she found a seven-year-old Sirius comforting him after a nightmare. 

However, when Gwyar apparated into the room, it took Regulus only a second to dive into his friend's arms. 

"Reg!" Gwyar smiled, tightening his grip on Regulus while the younger pressed his cheek against Gwy's collarbone. "You're not usually like this."

"So long," Regulus muttered, "It's been so long."

"It's been-"

"Nine months," Regulus explained, "It's been nine months since I last saw you."

Regulus wasn't sure where the clinginess had come from, but he felt so warm and safe in Gwyar's arms that he couldn't, for that moment, bring himself to care.

"I know, but it won't be so long next time, I promise you."

"You promise?"

"I promise," He smiled softly. He rested his chin on Regulus's head, and hummed in contentment. "But, we do need to talk."

Pulling back and straightening out his clothes, Regulus furrowed his eyebrows. Gwyar looked... awful, there was no other way to put it. His eyes were dark and sunken, his lips thin and tight and his freckles were faded against his pale skin.

"I hate when you say that, you know."

"I know you do," Gwyar flinched. "I'm sorry. But... this is serious."

"About Peter?" Regulus asked, moving over to the sofa. Gwyar, this time, sat beside him. Their knees stayed touching in a strange gesture of comfort that Regulus couldn't help but be grateful for, and he felt himself relaxing despite Gwyar's sudden appearance. 

"Sort of," He began, "But also sort of not."

"Oh?"

"I'm just going to cut to the chase. The Potter's."

"Oh?" Regulus echoed. "They've had their little kid now, yes?"

"They have. A tiny little thing called Harry James. Sirius is his godfather."

"How do you know all this?"

"I went to see him. Through the window," Gwyar added quickly before Regulus began to talk again. "That's what this is about. It's about Harry."

While Reg should have been focusing on whatever had him in a panic, the thought of Gwyar (who, for the most part, hated any semblance of children or family) peering in at this small little boy in the arms of a Mudblood had him smiling a little.

"Go on then."

"Oh man," He groaned, "This is going to sound... ridiculous. But... there's been a prophecy. A prophecy that names either Harry, or another young boy, as the one to be the downfall of Voldemort."

Regulus felt his mouth go dry. 

"The Potter's kid is, what, four months old?" He scoffed. Gwy was wrong. He must have been.

"Five," Gwyar corrected. "He was born on the last day of July, the last day for him to fall into the prophecy."

"Do you know which child?"

"No. But, I think Voldemort's going to choose Harry. He already has Peter in place, and Pettigrew is closer to James and Lily than he is to the Longbottoms - the parents to the other little boy." Gwyar paused. He took in a deep breath, his hands shaking, and pressed a palm to his mouth. "I think..."

"You think what?"

"I think they're going to try and frame Sirius."

Regulus, for the first time since moving in, wished he had a ticking clock in the kitchen to take away from the silence. There was no kettle whistling in the background, no metal spoons on delicate crockery. Gwyar stared at him, wide-eyed and expecting.

"...What?" Regulus finally spat out, his eyes narrowing. "But-"

"Hear me out," Gwyar swiftly interrupted. "Just listen to what's happened and then butt in, okay?"

Regulus nodded.

"Alright. I have no reason to say so, but I get this feeling in my gut that something bad's going to happen to them. To them all. Peter's been feeding us more and more information about the Order. The attacks are getting more and more violent, Greyback's now involved-"

"Shit."

"-And while there's no solid plan or anything, Sirius and Harry's name keeps coming up a lot. With Evans being a Mud- Muggleborn, Reg- you don't know what they do to them. I mean, you do, but- yeah. I... I don't know, Regulus. I joined the Death Eaters when I was fifteen, when it consisted of five or six other people and you, Severus and I were looking to be the next best thing. But- but this is getting messy now. It's not about blood or superiority. It's about one person taking control of everyone and everything, blood and status be damned. And now you, I, Sirius, and everyone else is going to be caught up in it!"

"Why would you care about them?" Regulus suddenly asked. Gwyar was never power-hungry and cared about no one's blood but his own - so Regulus assumed it made sense. But his voice, the way he was pleading, didn't seem right.

"I don't care about them," Gwyar grumbled, as though he could sense Regulus's curiosity. "I care about the six-month-old little boy whose parents could be murdered any day now, and will grow up not knowing who he is."

_Ah._

"So what?" Regulus scoffed, "You're playing saviour."

"No, you are."

"Am I now?"

"Yes," He said with a smile the complete opposite of the worry previously on his face. "I've had a lot of time to think about this, okay? I heard about this prophecy a couple of months ago, but I stayed to keep an eye on things, just like you asked. We need... we need to do something. Something to stop Harry, or Alice and Frank's kid, from being murdered."

_I have no attachment to these children,_ Regulus almost said, _and nor have you._ But Gwyar was already hunched over, resting his chin in his hands and thinking of a plan, with a face two parts worry and one part determination, and Regulus couldn't bring himself to break the concentration.

That feeling of the water in his lungs returned. He'd been so close to death. So close. And no one had cared. Not his mother or father, not the Dark Lord himself. Not a single pureblood. So, when he had not the power, but the possibility, to change everything, was he prepared to just sit back?

Pushing himself up from the seat, Regulus sighed. "I don't know what the fuck has gotten into you, or me for that matter, but I have nothing else to live for. You... you go and make us some tea. I think I need to write to Sirius."

***

_25th December 1980_

_Merry Christmas, Sirius._

_I know I'm the last person you expected to hear from, but I wasn't sure what else to do. I'm not going to explain what I did, or how I'm alive, so I'll just cut to the chase._

_Gwyar Vaughan, as you very well may know, was a Death Eater alongside me. While currently, and technically, he is, he's also feeding information back to me while I'm in hiding. Information that will surely be useful to you, if not life-saving. It concerns you, Peter Pettigrew, the Potters, and sadly, your young godson._

_I'd prefer not to discuss this in writing, so if you can give me a time and place to meet you, alone, that would be ideal._

_Hope you are well._

_R.A.B._


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoy~! <3 Thanks for all the love and comments so far, I'm really enjoying writing this!!
> 
> Trigger Warnings: 
> 
> -Mild violence and use of Unforgivable Curses

_25th December 1980_

_Regulus,_

_I don't think I need to say that you writing to me was a shock. I thought you were more than just dead - but that they never found a body either. I'm sure you'll provide a perfectly good explanation when I meet up with you, and that hopefully won't be too much of a wait. I'm assuming that you're hiding, or can't just come and visit for whatever reason, so come to London. There's a place called The Diner Soho in Mayfair that's open late and typically quiet. I'll be there around 9 pm on the 30th, and we can talk then. Oh, and wear something that doesn't make you stand out._

_Sirius._

**

He took a sip of his coffee.

There was no doubt that Sirius had expected his little brother to change since he last saw him three years before, especially seeing as he'd been dead for the past year, but this was more drastic than even he'd imagined.

Regulus had filled out a little more. His hair was longer - not in the same way Sirius's was, but fell in front of his eyes and curled up a little at the ends - and he stood straighter, and a little more relaxed. He took Sirius's last comment a step too far, turning up to the 50's Style diner in jeans and a garishly bright windbreaker that he kept pulling at in disgust. 

"One thing I'll never understand," Regulus said once he slid into the booth opposite his brother. "Is muggle fashion." Sirius had taken the liberty of ordering a coffee for both himself and Regulus, and the gesture did not go unnoticed. Regulus looked at the mug for a moment, tried to hide the small sneer that crept its way onto his face, before pushing the coffee back without drinking any. Sirius knew Regulus hated coffee.

"Hello to you too, Reg," He grumbled, but couldn't help the twitch of his lips as he tried not to smile. 

Sirius watched as his brother tried to smile, and failed, while an awkward silence fell over them. There was another couple in the diner, in the far corner by the door. The woman was facing towards them, a takeaway cup in her hands, and she smiled softly. She looked away, then back, before tucking a piece of wavy blonde hair behind her ear. Sirius wondered for a moment if she was trying to get his attention, and get him to go over, and had he not been gay (and had the girl not turned back to smile at her male companion), he may have done. Her companion looked short and stocky, but had his back to Sirius and his hood up, so he couldn't make many other comments. There was a girl behind the counter, hardly 17, with wild coloured hair, looking rather bored as she wiped down the counter and counted down the minutes until close. 

Regulus squirmed in his seat a little - not particularly noticeable, but Sirius knew him too well. He longed to ask how he'd been, how he did it, but couldn't figure out how to start.

"I see you didn't bring your boyfriend with you." Sirius ended up saying to fill the silence, noticing Gwyar Vaughan's absence. Sirius didn't like Vaughan too much; too many lies, too much avoiding the wrong questions. He's stayed on decent terms for Regulus's sake, until Sirius left home, and then once again to check how Regulus was doing. Once the pair joined the Death Eaters, and Sirius left Hogwarts, he felt no need to reach out any further. 

"I did not, seeing as I don't have one. I see you didn't either." Regulus answered tight-lipped, nodding to the empty seat next to Sirius.

"I did not, seeing as I don't have one," Sirius echoed bitterly, tensing his shoulders. He didn't need to think of that now.

"Oh? Last I knew, you and Lupin were doing well."

"The last you knew was five years ago, Regulus," Sirius argued, clenching his fists and trying to tame his anger.

"The last I heard," he corrected, "Was in April."

"Yes, well, a lot has changed since then."

"Loverboy not so keen now?"

"I don't see how any of that is your business, if I'm honest," Sirius huffed a little too loudly. The girl behind the counter gave an amused snort, and the lady in the corner looked away awkwardly. Nervous. He took in a sharp breath, letting his shoulders sink as he exhaled. "As a matter of fact, we were scared. I was scared. It wasn't working. And anyway," He said, calmer, "I'm more interested in how you knew about Rem and I from April? Or why I'm even here. No, scratch that, Regulus, why are _you_ even here? You're supposed to be dead."

Regulus shook his head and gave a small, sly smile. "How endearing, brother mine. Gwyar knows a lot of things, and he kept me updated while I was... away."

"And how does he know these things? Why were you away?"

"You never stop asking questions, do you?"

"And you never stop avoiding them, so it seems neither of us have changed."

"No, apparently not."

Silence fell over them again. The blonde in the corner continued to sip at her coffee. The waitress was leaning against the counter, picking at her nails and talking on the corded phone, which was pressed between her ear and shoulder. In the background, the 50's style jukebox, neon lights and cracking audio included, droned on, the song changing from Patsy Cline to The Monkees, just as Sirius had lined up moments before Regulus's appearance. 

Regulus clicked his tongue and breathed out heavily through his nose. "How have you been?"

"Next question," Sirius laughed indignantly once again. 

"Okay then, where are you staying now? In Mayfair?"

"No," he shook his head, "I've got a flat in Camden. I'd be more specific, but I wouldn't be reckless enough to give away my location to one of _his_ followers."

"I'm not like that anymore, Sirius, as hard as it is to believe. I'm unsure whether I ever wanted to be." Regulus attempted to smile. Sirius stared back at him with hard eyes. His fists were on the table, tight and twitching with a fit of seething anger he didn't want to feel anymore. Regulus was his brother. His dead brother, at that. The past was the past, wasn't it?

"Is Lupin living with you?" Regulus continued.

"Uh- no, he's not. We- He decided it was best if he left. He's staying with Peter when he can, but Remy... he's often... away," he worded awkwardly, shrugging. He watched as Regulus folded his arms and tapped out an odd pattern on his arm, dipping his head and staring at the coffee that was slowly going cold. Sirius knew Remus wasn't the easiest topic for the both of them, and he urged to press on, to get Regulus to talk.

"And you?" He ended up going for, "Where are you staying? Does Vaughan live with you?"

"I can't say, just in case. And no, Gwyar isn't staying with me. He's... here and there, mostly, but has a cottage in Wales. No big cities for him, you know that. He put me up somewhere when everything, well, _escalated_ is likely the best way to word it, and so far it's proved suitable."

Sirius had an opening, he realised, and took to leaning on the table, his elbows either side of his mug as he raised an eyebrow at Regulus.

"Please, elaborate."

"Hm?"

"Explain," Sirius smiled, "Explain to me what exactly escalated and why Gwyar Vaughan needed to hide you somewhere."

Regulus took in a sharp breath. Then, he explained.

With every explanation, Sirius listened. He listened to Regulus's elucidation of why Voldemort wanted Kreacher, and his task. He paid attention to descriptions of the cave, of the potion, of the locket, and the pain that coursed through his brother's body. Regulus recounted how Gwyar had taken him to a flat and put up the wards, getting Regulus settled in. Sirius felt bile rise up this throat as Regulus told him all about how he had to pretend to be dead, just to make sure he wouldn't really die.

"I wanted to, at times," Regulus said. "Die, I mean. It seemed... easier."

"Does Gwyar know you thought about it? This... suicide idealisation?" Sirius said in a voice as though he was trying to joke, but his stomach went queasy anyway. Reg meant more to him than he'd ever let on, even if he was just his stupid little brother.

"Hey, suicide was never on the table, okay? Sometimes, I simply thought that coming out, and trying to do something and fighting for a moment, however short, was better than rotting away in some shitty Birmingham apartment."

"Ooh, yeah," Sirius chuckled through gritted teeth, "Birmingham flats? I think I'd off myself if I was stuck in one of them, too. Thanks for letting me know where you're staying, by the way."

Regulus seemed unable to help his small laugh. "Ah, shit..." 

"Okay, then," Sirius sighed with a shake of his head. "So, Voldemort made Horcruxes, you escaped, you've been 'dead' for a year now, so... so why now? Why, five years since we last spoke, and a year since you _died for the cause_ ," He spat, "Are you back?"

He watched as his brother straightened up his back and shook his hair from his face. He cracked his knuckles, rubbed his hands together, before settling them flat on the table. Regulus bit his lip, and huffed.

"That's the thing, my brother. I'm not sure where to start."

"Is this..." Sirius began hesitantly, "Is this to do with- right. Dumbledore... Dumbledore told us that, well, that there might be someone feeding information. A spy. Like Vaughan, so it seems. Is it to do with them?"

"Perhaps," Regulus replied in a way that assured Sirius it was.

"Do you know who it is?"

"Yes."

"Do I know them? Do I know them well, I mean?"

"...Yes," Regulus said after a moment, pressing his lips into a tight line.

"Do I want to know who it is?"

"No."

"Tell me. Regulus, tell me who it is."

Looking up to his brother, Regulus narrowed his eyes. "It's not Lupin if that's what you're thinking."

"It's not."

"Yes, it is."

"It is not."

"It is," Regulus seemed to smile harshly. "I saw it on your face. You thought that not only had he broken up with you, but then stabbed you in the back, yes?"

"I broke up with him, firstly. Secondly, whether I did or not doesn't matter. Just tell me who it is, not who it isn't."

Sirius watched as Regulus's lips shaped the name, saw how the corner of his lips twitched upwards into a small smirk, as though he was proud, smug at what he'd said. He couldn't believe it. Sirius let the words rattle around in his head for a few moments as he sank back against the seat, pressing his hands into his face in shock.

"N-no..." Sirius muttered against his palms. "No, you're wrong, he wouldn't."

"He would," Regulus said.

"No, he wouldn't. Peter Pettigrew is our friend. He would rather die than betray his friends, just as I, Rem or Jamie would do!" Sirius shouted, slamming his hands hard and fast onto the table, causing it to shake. The coffee spilt, practically cold now, and Regulus watched on with dead eyes. The girl at the counter scoffed and someone from the corner - the guy or the girl, Sirius couldn't tell - flinched and squeaked at the outburst. 

"Sirius, hear me-"

"No, you have no proof," Sirius began, his breathing thick and tense with anger. His brother, his own fucking brother, was sat across from him, making up lies about people who were there for him when Regulus wasn't, and Sirius was reaching the end of his tether. He moved to stand up, when Regulus grabbed his wrist.

"I have no proof, okay?!" He snapped, "But I have more information you want and unless you want Harry or Lily in danger, sit your stubborn arse down and listen to me, Sirius Black!"

"H-harry..?" Sirius stammered, freezing on the spot. His breath caught in his throat, and his arm went limp in Regulus's grip. His brother pulled, gently, him down, until Sirius was slumped in the seat once more, staring at Reg with a mix of disbelief and pure panic. "What d-does Harry have to do with any of this? He's... he's just a kid! A baby! How do you even know about him?!"

Regulus groaned loudly, bringing his arm back to the table in front of him, and shaking his head.

"There's a prophecy-"

"What?"

" _Listen to me._ There's a prophecy that says a kid born at the end of July will be the one to end Voldemort."

Scoffing, Sirius shook his head. "A-and? There are probably hundreds, if not thousands of kids who were born then! What's the chance that it's Harry? And surely there was more than that? What's the full prophecy?"

Digging a hand into his coat pocket, Regulus pulled out a small piece of parchment and began reading from it in a bored, flat voice. " _The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies... and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but-_ and that's all the Gwy heard. He had to leave; he was almost caught, and I told him to stay safe and not do anything stupid. "

"That's it?" Sirius said with a strained laugh, "C-come on, you gotta be kidding, right? T-that in no way suggests that's Harry-"

"You know it," Regulus interrupted in a tone that Sirius had never heard from him before, but made him stop in his tracks nonetheless. "You very well know that there's a good chance Harry could be the one he's after and you can't sit there and deny it, Sirius!"

"And why would you care!" Sirius fumed, his fists hitting the table once more. "You don't know him! Why the fuck do you care what does and doesn't happen to him?! What do you gain from even telling me?!"

"I'm tired of sitting in the back row and doing what people expect of me. I think it's time I come back from the dead and do the unexpected."

Suddenly, Sirius felt a sharp, almost stabbing pain in the side of his neck.

"Do you now?" A sickly sweet voice smiled. Sirius looked to the left, and saw the blonde girl from over in the corner up close in his face, her wand drawn and pressed to his neck.

"Shit!" He muttered, his hand moving to rest on his jacket pocket where his own wand was concealed. He then heard a yelp, and looked back over to his brother. The lady's companion had his hand tangled in Regulus's hair, gripping tightly and pulling his head up. He had a mask on, a silver metal one with thin slits for the eyes, and Sirius tried to take in a deep breath as he began to panic. 

"Don't move!" The man hissed as Regulus squirmed and whimpered, his head pulled up even higher. The man's voice was distorted by some sort of spell, Sirius assumed, but the anger (and strange amount of nervousness) was clear despite it. 

"What the fuck?"

The tense atmosphere was broken by the amused, bitchy tone of the waitress. Sirius had to strain his neck to turn to look at her, and the wand was driven further into his windpipe.

"Zip it, you!" The blonde snapped. 

"Look, I don't know what the hell you lot are playing at, but we don't want any strange magic shows or, I don't know, weird stuff in here. I just wanna finish my shift in peace!" She laughed, looking particularly curiously at the masked figure. "So if you could just-"

" _Avada Kedavra_!"

A flash of green light, and the teen dropped to the floor, her face marked with panic and horror. The blonde, wand back to Sirius's throat, gave a harsh cackle then smiled at Regulus. "Bet you miss doing that, don't you? Filthy fucking Muggle, don't you agree?"

"N-no, I don't- shit," Regulus ground out, his breathing harsh and rapid as the man pulled his hair even more, until he was almost lifting him from the seat, and drew out his wand to point at Reg. "I-I don't f-fucking-"

"Reg, shut the fuck up!" Sirius spat. He dragged his hand slowly across the leather of his jacket, feeling around for the entrance to his pocket. One wrong move and both of them would be dead. "I'm glad you're back," Sirius managed to whisper to Regulus, who looked at him with scared eyes. For a moment, he was taken back to their childhood, and that tense feeling of overprotectiveness flooded desperately over his body. Regulus smiled softly as Sirius nodded. 

"Not for fucking long you won't be!" She sneered. She dragged the tip of her wand up Sirius's neck, below his jaw until it was on his chin, and lifted his head up. Smiling, she leant in closer, until their noses almost touched. "Can't have the pretty little Gryffindor boy going back to Dumbledore now, can we?"

"I-I'm-"

"We heard it all! Now you know about Pettigrew, along with that prophecy we're all so desperately clinging onto, well, it's clear that I really just can't let you go. A pity, really. Such a gorgeous face gone to waste!" She slapped Sirius on the cheek lightly before pinching it. Then, expression dropping to a scowl, she pointed her wand at Regulus, whose eyes shot further open in fear. "As for this one," She snarled, rolling her eyes. "Well, his death sentence was set the second that our Dark Lord told me to make sure he'd finished the job."

"F-finished the job?!" Regulus laughed, "He never started it! Voldemort is nothing but a coward! He didn't even try to kill me himself! He-!

" _Alarte Ascendare!_ " Sirius shouted, pulling his wand out from his pocket and pointing it at the man in time to see him shoot up and back in the air, his back smacking against the wall and causing the building to shake. The woman opened her mouth, eyes wide, her wand pointed at Regulus. Sirius saw her lips begin to form the incantation, but Regulus drew his wand in time. A burst of purple sparks, and the blonde shot backwards. 

"Regulus!" Sirius cried, standing from the seat and grabbing his brother's arm. He kept his wand tight in his grip and began to drag Regulus up.

" _Confringo!"_

"Reg, come on!"

Sirius hurdled over the diner counter, followed by Regulus, both sinking to the floor as green and red light flew over them. Sirius almost gagged as he realised he’d landed on the waitress's cold, dead leg. Her eyes were still open in shock, her lips slightly parted, and her face was a deathly pale that sent shivers up both brothers' spines. 

"...They mentioned Peter," Sirius gasped in panic, trying to catch his breath as Regulus peered over the counter, shouting a spell that sounded far too much like an Unforgivable. "They said it was him."

"I told you that - _Sectumsempra_! - that it was! But no, you don't listen to me, do you?!"

Sirius pulled Regulus back down and glared at him for a short moment, before reaching over the counter with his wand. " _Bombarda Maxima_ ! Firstly," He then directed to his brother, trying to ignore how none of their hits were landing, "You know I hate Sectumsempra. And secondly- Ah! _Stupefy_!"

"Filthy fucking blood traitors!" The lady screeched from the other side of the diner, sounding strained and in pain. 

" _Now_ do you believe me?" Regulus hissed, as a bright light shot from the end of his wand and the Jukebox - rather than his target - burst into a pile of ashes. 

Sirius managed nothing other than a roll of his eyes, before grabbing Regulus's arm tightly and apparating with a crack.

***

_30th December 1980_

_Moony._

_Hey._

_How are you?_

_I know you’re away and I don’t know when you’re going to get this, but it’s urgent. Mostly. Some things have come to light recently, some dangerous and important things. I know Dumbledore won’t tell you, but I think as a member of the Order and my_ ~~_boy_ ~~ _~~f~~ riend, it’s your right to know. Please, if you can, come home quickly. _

_I miss you._

_Padfoot._


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Decent backlog now, this fic keeps getting longer and longer! There are officially 10 chapters written~ <3  
> Hope you all enjoy <333
> 
> (Edit: I accidentally put 1981 instead of 1980 for the letter - this has now been corrected! <3)
> 
> Trigger Warnings: 
> 
> -None

_31st December 1980_

_Padfoot._

_I'm coming home as soon as I can, hopefully on New Year's Day. I hope everyone is safe._

_Moony._

***

Sirius clutched the letter tight in his hand, wrinkling the parchment and refusing to put it down. He'd received it from a postal owl as soon as he’d arrived and hadn't let go of it since. Remus has been so... blunt. Not that he was one for projecting his emotions through heartfelt poetry, not Remus, but there was no sentiment to the letter. There was no 'I miss you', no 'I love you, are you alright?'. Nothing to indicate to Sirius that after everything, they were okay. 

They weren't okay, of course. Sirius knew this, somewhere in the back of his preoccupied mind, that he and Remus weren't okay, and that it was his fault they weren't. He hadn't meant to end things with Remus, and hadn't wanted to. But when everything happened too fast, when one moment Remus was okay and the next he was covered in his own blood, a death eater on the floor by his feet, Sirius panicked. He couldn't do it; he couldn't stand by knowing the love of his life would die in his arms soon enough. Then again, breaking up with Remus didn't stop him being the love of his life, Sirius learnt the hard way.

Remus begged before he left, Sirius tried to apologise, and the rest was history. 

"Are you even listening to me?!" James's shouting drew Sirius from his consuming thoughts, and he looked up to see his bespectacled friend pulling on his hair, shaking his head and gritting his teeth. "I can't believe it! I'm here trying to explain how dumb and stupid that was, and you're there in fucking la-la land!"

Sirius had apperated he and Regulus to the Order's Headquarters - or as close as they could get considering the anti-apparition charm - in a flurry, collapsing on the floor and sighing with minimal relief. (The Headquarters, this time, was an abandoned church between Bath and Andover, which Dorcas had suggested to use and Dumbledore made sure was safe, usable and then concealed from all who didn't need to know of its uses.) He'd explained what happened to the people there, consisting of no others than the Potter family and Marlene McKinnon, before Marlene left for her partner's home in a fit of worry. James, ever the mother hen, grabbed an ice pack for Regulus, water and biscuits for them both, before proceeding to sit them down on the sofa and shout about their idiocy. 

"Do you have any idea what kind of trouble you could have gotten in? What trouble you _did_ get in?! They could have killed you!"

"We know, James," Sirius drawled in a bored tone, unable to stop himself from smirking at Regulus. His brother was beside him on the sofa, the ice pack on the top of his head where the Death Eater had pulled at his hair, smirking back. 

"What- what if they'd followed you, hm?! Or they got hold of you and ended up here?!" James continued to panic, pacing back and forth in the living room, his eyes flicking between Regulus and Sirius. 

Lily, with her fiery red hair and bright-eyed as the day they met, was leaning against the wall, with a babbling little baby in her arms. Harry was wearing the maroon baby robes that Remus had bought him, and in one hand, he was clasping a small baby rattle that resembled a beater's bat that Sirius had bought and waving it about. Smiling sympathetically at Sirius, Lily bought Harry closer to her chest.

"Not to mention! You!" James cried nervously, continuing his rant, sticking out a shaking hand and pointing it at Regulus. "You're supposed to be dead! What- why- how are you even here?!"

"James, love?" Lily smiled sweetly from by the wall, bouncing Harry up and down. 

"Not now Lily. So go on then! How did you do it?"

"James-"

"Tell me! Because you were-"

"James, honey, you're upsetting Haz!"

"Oh shit!"

At the mention of his son, James's face softened, and he turned on his heel to head to his wife. Ignoring the two brothers, now sat deadbeat and bored, he swooped little Harry up into his arms, holding him out in front of him and jiggling him about lightly. 

"Hey, lil man! How my little soldier?" He asked his kid with a bright grin, and Harry, smiling back, gurgled happily! With one hand, he waved his rattle, and with the other, he grabbed his father's hair, pulling excitedly. "Sorry, darling," James apologised to Lily, kissing her on the cheek before passing his little boy back.

"It's okay, love. You know what your brother and his brother are like!" She said with raised brows and a cocky smirk. "Reckless idiots, the pair of them!"

"We're not reckless," Regulus said calmly, speaking up for the first time since arriving at the order. "We were simply... distracted by other means of conversational topics."

"Still a posh bastard, aren't you? Death didn't change a thing!"

"Seems not," He deadpanned, rolling his eyes at James.

"But you are reckless! The pair of you! Talking about- about whatever it was in a Muggle diner when- what were you talking about anyway?" James asked, suddenly distracted and looking curiously between them.

"Nothing," Sirius said.

"That's a lie. Out with it, then."

Sirius sucked in a tense breath, and Regulus seized up next to him. James's eyes flickered between the pair anxiously.

"Go on then. Tell me."

Regulus, putting his hands up in surrender, sighed. "What you need to understand here, Potter-"

"Let me deal with it, Regulus. James..." Sirius sighed, and James just glared. "Gwyar Vaughan heard-"

"Oh, no no no," James said suddenly, shaking his head and smiling and laughing in that maniacal way that had Sirius shifting to the edge of his seat. "I don't want to hear that name, not at all! It's bad enough having him here," James gestured to Regulus, "But I won't have you mentioning other Death Eaters and treating them like they're good people! Vaughan made his bed and how he must lie in it, no matter what he says."

"Well maybe-" Sirius began harshly, standing up and getting close to James, "-They have things that are worth listening to! Important things!"

"What could come out of Vaughan's mouth that's worth listening to, Pads?!"

"Well maybe if you shut up, you'd know, wouldn't you!"

" _Me_ shut up?!"

"Yes, you!"

"No, you listen here, Sirius! We are in the middle of a war! I'm not listening to anything-"

"Peter Pettigrew is working with Voldemort and coming after you and Harry!" Regulus finally said over the yelling, loud enough to be heard but not so that he was shouting. 

James froze on the spot, his mouth hanging open as he stared at Sirius. His face was blank, and he went pale. Lily, still against the wall, gave a small gasp, and from over his friend's shoulder, Sirius saw her pull Harry closer to her yet again. The room was deafeningly quiet, with the only sounds being James and Sirius's ragged breathing, and the baby rattle being shaken about. 

"What?" James managed to get out in a whisper, not bothering to turn to face Regulus.

Sirius, for the first time since finding out, didn't find himself consumed with anger and disbelief. Instead, he was swallowed up by fear, by sadness and worry as he looked between each of the Potters, and wondered how someone could have betrayed such a beautiful, kind and loving family. "I'm sorry. Peter- he... he's working for Voldemort. He’s a Death Eater."

James stumbled, his legs going weak, and he collapsed onto the sofa with help from Sirius and Regulus. He let out a choked sob and pressed his hand to his mouth to stop it, to keep quiet. 

Slowly stepping back, Sirius watched as Lily moved to his side, not before passing Harry to Sirius. Harry, wild-haired and mischievous like his father, bright-eyed and kind like his mother, stared up at him with a happy grin, shook the rattle, and gurgled. Sirius blinked away the tears in his eyes. 

Lily stayed beside her husband, her head on his shoulder as she looked expectantly at Regulus.

"S-so... what else do you know? Why Harry?" Lily faltered, grabbing James's hand. James, however, kept silent, looking ahead at nothing and frozen on the spot. Six months ago, no doubt, he'd be ranting and raving, shouting and screaming about how Regulus was wrong, how Peter would never do that and demand he left. Now, perhaps with Harry being his main focus with Lily soon after, Sirius considered, he stayed still and in shock, refusing to argue. 

"Gwyar Vaughan," Regulus began after a deep breath, "Is a Death Eater, as you very well know. He came to me with the knowledge that not only is Peter Pettigrew a Death Eater, but that there is a prophecy naming either Harry, or another boy called Neville Longbottom, as the one to bring an end to Voldemort. "

"Frank and Al," Lily sobbed quietly. 

"It does seem, however, that Voldemort has chosen your child to fulfil the prophecy, and while I don't know any more on when, why, or how, Gwyar does believe that Voldemort is using Peter as an advantage to get to you all. Your lives are very much in danger."

***

The night went by in a blur.

James and Lily, swaddling Harry, slowly but surely came to terms with what they heard. Came to terms with the fact that their little boy was in danger. When they did, which took time, screaming, tears and too many cups of tea, Regulus then explained about the Horcruxes, and how he'd already recovered one. There were more gasps of shock, even more tears, and the three Potters stayed curled up on the sofa in fear. 

Next came getting Dumbledore, which was a mistake. The old man needed to know, of course, but he provided very little reassurance. 

_I didn't think I should cause undue worry_ , Dumbledore had told them all when James asked why he never told them about the prophecy. _I deemed you all safe and was prepared to move you when I thought that safety was compromised._ Dumbledore, after expressing both relief and gratitude to Regulus, told them all about Professor Trelawney and the prophecy, when he found out, why he never said and how much he regretted not telling them. Sirius wondered if he'd ever seen James so mad. 

Dumbledore was then told about the Horcruxes, and he listened intently with a darkened face, asking questions that Regulus couldn't answer. 

Then Vaughan was needed.

It was Dumbledore's request, of course, to ask Regulus to go to wherever he thought Gwyar was and bring him back, seeing as he'd have more information (on both the Horcruxes and Pettigrew). When Regulus heard this, Sirius saw a small smile creep onto his brother's face before he disapparated with a crack.

For five minutes, Sirius waited. Lily went off to the small kitchen with Harry to get him a bottle, and James followed close behind after hugging Sirius. If he listened closely, he could hear quiet cries and whispers from Lily, and equally as quiet reassurances from her husband. Dumbledore stayed in the main room, trying to make idle conversation with Sirius, who stared off into space. 

It all came crashing down on him. 

His brother was alive. Never mind the years of tension and nasty looks in the Hogwarts corridors, Regulus was _alive_ . But as he registered one piece of information, he'd remember another. About how his other brother, the brother in all but blood, was being hunted. How his wife and one of Sirius's closest friends was holding a small child, Sirius's _godson_ , and someone wanted him _dead_. 

The Horcruxes... the Horcruxes was something that Sirius didn't even want to think about yet. He could go and kill Voldemort. He'd go and do it at that moment if he knew where he was; fear or death meant nothing if it kept Harry safe. (He'd kill Pettigrew too, if he could, a helpful voice that sounded an awful lot like Remus said snarkily). But knowing that his efforts would be for nothing, and that Voldemort's soul was split, had Sirius reeling. 

He shook, sick to his stomach with fear as he thought about what was to come. Sirius had seen his fair share of bodies since he joined the order, but so few of them were innocent people. They were all Death Eaters or those on Voldemort's side. 

The image of the dead girl from the diner flashed in his mind for a second, and Sirius couldn't stop himself from imagining her with vivid green eyes and red hair, and he thought he was going to throw up.

Tearing him away from his spiralling was a loud crack, and he looked up to see two figures in front of him.

Gwyar Vaughan, as much as Sirius hated to admit it, was a good looking guy. Before Sirius and Remus got together, even the latter admitted an aesthetic crush on Gwyar, and their association was rocky at the best of times. Honey-coloured hair fell in little waves over his narrow, blue eyes, and his lips seemed permanently quirked in a cocky smirk. He stood tall, almost as tall as Sirius, and certainly taller than Regulus. He had deep set eyes, a thin face and a pronounced bone structure that even Sirius, high cheekbones be damned, was jealous of. His thin, pointed nose was dusted with light freckles, and when his eyes locked onto Sirius, he raised his eyebrows lightly. 

"Okay?" Regulus asked Gwyar quietly, looking up to him with calm eyes. 

"I am," Gwyar nodded, placing his hand on Regulus's shoulder and leaving it there. Sirius never questioned Regulus's situation with Vaughan, and never saw a need to. He and Gwyar got on for Regulus's sake, and that's all there was to it. Vaughan, led a little by Regulus, stood in front of Sirius, and smirked.

"The elder Black," He said smoothly, "Long time no see. How have you been?" He stuck a hand out, and Sirius grasped it firmly.

"I've been better, funnily enough," He spat, shaking his hand and dropping it quickly. Sirius took in a breath, and tried to keep his cool. 

"I can imagine. I hope I can be of help, Regulus explained everything to me."

Sirius opened his mouth to reply but was cut off by a cough from the doorway, where James was standing, Lily and Harry just behind him. Harry was quiet and calm, asleep while in Lily's arms. James, however, couldn't keep the scowl from his face.

"Gwyar Vaughan, as I live and breathe," James said with a cocked brow, shaking his head lightly. "The Dark Lord hasn't gotten to you yet, then?"

"It seems not, James Potter. Still playing Quidditch?"

"Better than you ever were, that's for sure."

Over three years out of school, and Quidditch Rivalry seemed to die hard.

Dumbledore laughed, muttering something about house competitiveness, before suggesting everyone took a seat. Chairs were pulled in from the dining room, and even a pew from the Epistle side of the nave was bought in. Gwyar and Regulus took the pew (ironic, Sirius thought) while Lily and Harry settled on the sofa so the latter could continue sleeping. Dumbledore, James and Sirius took dining chairs, until they were sat in a circle that reminded Sirius of AA meetings.

"I think," Lily said, speaking up and interrupting the uncomfortable silence, "That Gwyar should start and tell us what he knows."

Harry yawned and sniffed in his sleep, as though in agreement, and although the tension was still very much there, everyone seemed to relax a little. 

"Thank you, Evans-"

"Potter."

"Yes, Potter," He quickly corrected with a smile. "While most of what I know is from Regulus, and I know he's told you, I have heard a little more. Regarding the Horcruxes, I don't yet know how to destroy them. By the sounds of it, it doesn't appear as though Voldemort knows either. Secondly, and I do hate to say this, I can inform you that there are more than one."

"How many?" Sirius asked, trying to keep his voice from shaking.

"I don't know just yet, but I do know there are at least three. One of them is a ring, one that Voldemort doesn't seem to like I would assume, going off of how it is spoken about. Another I have no details of, except that it was given to another Death Eater. Who that is, or what the Horcrux is, I don't know. The last I know about is the one that Regulus had. It is, as it turns out, the locket of Salazar Slytherin himself."

"Had? What do you mean, _had_ ?" Sirius turned to his brother. "You told me you _have_ it?"

"I do, in a way," Regulus said, and shifted back on the pew and closer to Gwyar.

"In a way?!"

"I gave it to Kreacher to destroy. I don't think he has destroyed it, but he'll surely still have it in his possession."

"So it's back at Grimmauld Place?" Sirius grimaced.

"Yes, it's _at home_."

"Tell me about Peter," James spoke up when he saw the looks exchanged between the brothers. "What do you know about him?"

"Pettigrew and I met, or should I say met again, back in April. Voldemort seems... fond of him. He brings back information about all of you in the Order and sometimes goes on missions for the Dark Lord. Just the usual. Hunting down those that betrayed him, and such. He wasn't fond of the murdering at first, and still very much isn't. On occasion, he's dragged along with other Death Eaters when they have _fun_ ," He finished, his brows furrowing on the last word. Sirius didn't need to think hard about what they might consider fun, and the thought of Peter doing that sent shivers down his spine and the feeling of sickness rising up his throat.

"The ministry is being informed as we speak," Dumbledore said by way of reassurance. "But the issue still stands. Lily, James and our little Harry here are in danger."

"T-then we protect them," Sirius jumped in. "We can do what we're doing here, right? Put them somewhere, and then use all the charms we have to conceal them until it's safe!"

"Not happening!"

"What?"

"I said it's not happening!" James repeated. "I'm here to fight, I'm not being locked up somewhere! If he comes after me, I'll kill him!"

Lily whacked him on his arm lightly, moving the sofa and causing Harry to grumble. "If you try to kill him, he's got his soul in at least three other pieces! James, I know the last thing you want to do is give up fighting, but we have a son. We have a little boy we need to protect!"

"Exactly, James! Moony and I will keep fighting, and we'll- we'll find the Horcruxes! Even if he won't go, I will!"

"What," Vaughan scoffed, "You're just going to find all the Horcruxes and figure out how to destroy them? No one knows how to do that!"

"It's true, Sirius," Dumbledore said regretfully. "While the idea seems good in theory, having the Horcruxes means nothing if we have no idea how to dispose of them. Leave the Horcruxes to me, you all should forget about them for now. "

"It's not doable, Siri," Lily sighed. She smiled small, anxious, and ran her hand through her son's hair. "Thank you, though. We'll... we'll just have to- to hide somewhere. Just for the time being. Sorry, loves," She said to both James and Sirius. 

Sirius looked to Regulus and Gwyar, both seeming rather uncomfortable, if not a little out of sorts by it all. He then glanced over to James, who looked-

Up to something.

James looked back with a hardened look, and while he seemed to glare a little, his eyes sparkled with determination and mischief. It was once the look that he had in his eyes when they came up with a prank, or when Remus managed to pull off the new spell he's been working on. Yet here, in the middle of a war, with the news they'd all just heard, the look had Sirius on the edge of his seat.

"Then," Dumbledore said with the clap of his hands, "We should begin to make preparations. Gwyar, Regulus, what will be happening to the both of you?"

"I'll return to my place, while Regulus shall return to his, I presume?" Gwyar suggested, cocking his head and looking at his friend. 

"It seems so."

"I think... I think we ought to leave soon. I think there is much to discuss between your brother and his friends."

"I'm going to stay. Just for a moment. Sirius-"

"Yes," Sirius jumped in. "Regulus and I need to talk."

"Very well. I'd like to wait too, then, and make sure Regulus-"

Vaughan cut himself off as they heard the doors to the church open, groaning under their weight, and closing once more.

The same thought seemed to run through everyone's mind. Wands were drawn, curses and charms on the tips of their tongues. Lily gently scooped Harry up, pulling him close, while James stood in front of them. Gwyar pulled Regulus close as they held their wands up, pointing at the vestry door where Sirius was heading. He opened the door slowly and was prepared to be face to face with Peter with his wand also drawn, and he grit his teeth. 

Looking down to nave towards the door, a wave of relief washed over Sirius when he saw who it was.

"Wotcher, Padfoot," they called.

Sirius took in a breath.

"'Ello, Moony."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The more I write of this, the more different ideas I've had comes together! This is,,, going to be long haha!
> 
> Trigger Warnings:  
> -Very mild violence

Sirius closed the door to the vestry behind him, keeping everyone else out of sight. Perhaps, for the moment, it was for the best. Sirius smiled at him, an awkward beam that sent his heart fluttering. 

Remus smiled back at Sirius. It wasn't a proper smile, he knew. No, it was the kind of smile that Remus did when he wasn't fine, but was trying to convince everyone that he was. It was his 'the full moon went fine', 'I promise my father doesn't hurt me', 'No, Sirius, it's okay' smile, and he knew it caused Sirius's heart to shatter in his chest.

Sirius was well accustomed to that smile. He saw it most of the time in school. After every moon, or in their first year, every 'bout of sickness' he suffered. After every time someone asked how his holidays at home were. When Snape made a hushed comment under his breath. 

As the years went on, the Marauders saw it less, and they were grateful. Even as the war picked up, Remus managed to keep a more genuine, heartfelt smile on his face. 

And then June came around. 

Or more specifically, June the 14th.

They'd be okay on a mission together, Sirius had insisted to Dumbledore beforehand. And they were, for a moment. It started off as a long day, with he and Sirius camped out, watching a derelict house that had been reported for Death Eater activity. Ever the romantic, Sirius bought a picnic along, which Remus declared unneeded, but didn't hesitate to delve into. They ate, talked, and sat around.

Until a group appeared.

Remus hadn't wanted to fight, not against ten of them. But Sirius had insisted and, well, Sirius was always Remus's biggest weakness. 

It might have been Remus who'd been hurt and covered in blood he wasn't sure was his own or his enemies, but it was Sirius who panicked, fled, and broke up with Remus before he could put in another word.

"How have you been?" Sirius asked him, his shoulders tensed and lips in his own halfhearted smile. 

"Who else is here?" Remus asked back, walking down the nave. He stuffed his hands in his jacket pocket (Sirius's jacket, to be precise, so it was rather large on him, but Remus never had the heart to return it when they'd split).

"You always did have the worst ways of avoiding the question."

"It's my signature trait. That, and anxious sarcasm," He snorted, earning a quiet laugh from Sirius. He made it to Sirius, no longer talking across the church. Instead, he was looking up to him, trying to push down any feelings of both fondness and hatred.

"Well, yes, that's true."

"I have... been okay. Well, as okay as I can be, considering the circumstances. How've you been?"

"Okay," Sirius said in the same slow drawl as Remus, and he managed a fuller smile, before frowning again. "Look, Rem, a lot's happened..."

"I know, I know. Dumbledore explained. Or, his Patronus? Yes. He sent one to me while I was on my way back. I decided against apparating the whole way as was in the Yorkshire Dales when I heard. Needed time to myself." Remus took a deep breath. "Peter..."

"I know."

"I can't believe..."

"I know, Moons, I know."

"He- he's our brother!"

"Was," Sirius spat, "Was. He's not anymore. Not if he's working for You-Know-Who."

Remus tried to take in another breath, which became only a strangled sob. "My fault," He found himself muttering, shaking his head and smiling sadly. 

"How's it your fault?"

"Dunno," He resigned to saying. "It just always is."

"No, Moony, it's not. He's-"

"Oh Merlin, Moony!"

The vestry door was thrown open, and James ran through, tackling the smaller man into a tight hug. He pulled Remus's head against his shoulder and rested his chin on his curly hair. 

"Prongs, oh god, are you okay?"

"Yes, yes, I am now you're here. Are you?!"

"I think I am." Remus suddenly pulled back, cupping James's face with his hands and feeling tears spring to his eyes. "Peter."

"I know, Moons, I can't- I just can't believe it. After everything..." 

James looked a wreck, well and truly. His hair, usually very messy and sticking up, was actually flat, floppy with dirt and sweat and grease. Looking after a baby in the middle of the war was a task and a half, and his state showed it. His eyes were tired and droopy, which, considering it was approaching three in the morning, wasn't particularly a shock to Remus. James ran a hand through Remus's hair, and bit his lip.

"Are you sure you're okay? Easy moon? You've been gone a while."

"Only twelve days, Jamie. It was easy enough, I just stayed a while to see if I could get anyone else's support."

"It paid off?"

"Not particularly."

Another figure appeared in the doorway, one that had Remus pulling back from James's touch and smiling, relaxing his shoulders.

"That's my best friend you're manhandling there, Mr Potter!"

"Yes, yes, Mrs Potter, my sincerest apologies!" James laughed, patting Remus on the back and sending him over to his wife.

"Hey, Remy," Lily smiled, bouncing a now awake, but still sleepy, Harry in her arms. 

Remus walked over, and brushed red hair from her face, then kissed her forehead. "Oh, Lils, I've missed you."

"I've missed you too, Rem!" She lifted Harry a little higher, as the little boy reached out and tried to grab for Remus. "As has this little man, so it seems!"

"Of course he misses his favourite uncle!" Remus beamed, swooping the boy into his arms. Harry, even at five-months, brought a calmness and warmth to people in the worst of times. Now more than ever, Remus was grateful for it. "Hey there, my little fawn! Oh, it's been a late night for you, hasn't it, lovely? It's okay, you're safe, you just rest," He whispered to the small boy, who was already slipping back into a peaceful slumber against Remus's chest.

"Here," Lily offered, seeing Harry begin to fall asleep again, "Let me take him."

"It's no trouble. Let me have Haz for a bit. You and James could do with a few moments of peace."

Lily looked like she was about to argue, opening her mouth, before closing it and smiling as thanks. 

It seemed peaceful for a moment, and calm. 

The church was a little cold, and mostly bare, but with James, Lily, Harry and Sirius there, Remus knew he'd be okay. He wanted to stay there amongst the pews, holding Harry and talking with his friends, ignoring everything else going on in the world. 

But a hand on his lower back (Sirius's hand, to be precise, which seemed far more intimate than it should have been for two ex-boyfriends) brought him back to reality. 

"Come on, Re, Dumbledore's waiting." 

James and Lily walked in first, hand in hand and muttering to one another, and Sirius, once sure Remus was coming in as well, trailed after. Remus followed his friends into the room, and made his way straight to Dumbledore, taking the man's hand to shake briefly (which was a bit of a task when he had a sleeping baby on him). They had hushed conversations in the corner, further catch up and Remus reporting what little had happened over the full. He then turned his attention to Regulus Black.

Remus's relationship with Regulus was odd. They'd been something akin to friends once upon a time, back in his third year at Hogwarts. They'd been more than that in his fifth year, before they realised one was in love with the brother and the other wasn't in love at all. It was an interesting end to a relationship, that was for sure, but it was amicable nonetheless.

They shook hands as everyone else watched on, insisted first names were okay to use (mostly as Remus couldn't stand being called Lupin, and Regulus didn't seem too keen on Black anymore, judging by how he flinched at the name) and all seemed okay, if not a little awkward. 

Remus's relationship with Gwyar Vaughan left a lot to be desired. They'd never been friends, since the first time they met partway through Remus's second year. There'd been no reason at the time, other than a clash of personalities. Regulus always said they were too similar, and Sirius said they were too different, while Remus supposed it was a combination of the two. 

Fifth year came around, and Vaughan had a reason for his dislike. 

There were eight people in Dumbledore's office in late November once Remus had recovered. Remus was on one end of the room, Peter, Lily and James all by his side, arms around him as he trembled in fear. Sirius was in the centre, his arms wrapped around himself, very well aware of why he was getting the cold shoulder from his friends. On the other end of the room, the headmaster asking them to keep quiet about what they knew, were three others. Snape glared at Remus with disgust, snarling and grimacing at the sight of him. Avery wore a similar look, toned down a little. He'd never seen Remus, of course, only heard about it from Severus. 

Gwyar Vaughan stood behind them, arms folded as he tried to look outraged and repulsed. His eyes, however, had shone with fear.

"Vaughan," Remus nodded, sticking his hand out when he came face to face with the man. Gwyar's nose twitched as he snarled, taking a step back and bringing his arms behind him, pointedly not shaking Remus's hand. 

"Lupin."

"How have you been? Long time, no see," He said softly, dropping his untouched hand. Remus could try to be polite. That's the best he could do.

"That's none of your business."

Remus swore he heard Gwyar mutter 'fucking halfbreed' under his breath, but decided against bringing it up.

"What's happening now, then?" Remus asked, turning to Dumbledore. Gwyar wasn't worth the effort, and saying anything back would just increase tensions (and, Remus knew, cause Sirius to blow up). 

"Lily and James will need to go into hiding," He explained, "And soon. They'll take Harry somewhere, use the Fidelius Charm to conceal them, and wait it out. Mr Vaughan and Mr Black shall return to wherever they were before, seeing as they were perfectly safe there. As for you two," He gestured between Sirius and Remus, "You have a decision to make. You can either continue as you were, fighting, or hide yourselves in case of Pettigrew not being found by the ministry. We do, however, no matter what you choose, need one of you to be the Secret Keeper." 

"No," Sirius spoke up immediately, stepping to Remus's side in an instant. "Not a chance. Either we're both Secret Keeper's, or neither of us are."

"Sirius-"

"No, Rem, I'm not going to keep a secret like that from you. Never in a million years."

There was a scoff from the other side of the room, and Remus looked over to see Gwyar rolling his eyes, and Regulus telling him to keep quiet.

"Because that will end well," He laughed harshly, ignoring Regulus's frustrated pleas, "Let's put the Potter's lives in the hands of a filthy fucking animal! What a brilliant idea!"

Sirius lunged, wand once again tight in his hands and aiming it at Gwyar, baring his teeth and scowling. "What the fuck did you just call him, you uptight little prick?!"

"You can fuck off if you think you can say shit like that!" James spat, grabbing Sirius to pull him back, although it didn't look like he was putting in much effort. Hugging Harry tighter, Remus looked nervously to Lily, who made it one step before Vaughan started up again. 

"I'm not staying here near a mutt, and it's owner." He looked Sirius up and down, who was trying to pull himself out of James's grip, with disgust. "I'm going home. You've got everything you need from me, and I'm sure I'll be in touch if I have anything else of use to you."

"Gwyar, don't-"

"I'll come and see you soon, okay?" Gwyar promised Regulus, brushing a stray piece of hair from in front of his eyes. Just as Regulus's mouth opened to protest, Gwyar disapparated, leaving the room in a strange silence.

Sirius finally relaxed in James's arms, huffing and shaking him off. James's face was still red and hard, glaring at the space Vaughan had previously stood in, and Lily was to his side in an instant to calm him down.

"Well," Dumbledore said with a singular clap, breaking the silence and smiling to everyone. "That could have gone worse, at least!"

Remus stayed on the spot, and hugged Harry a little tighter, blinking away the tears in his eyes. It was one thing to think those things about yourself, and it was another to hear someone else say it (even though, Remus knew, he should be used to it by now). Harry gave a sleepy whimper, and bought a flimsy hand up to rub his eye. He smacked his lips a few times, smiled in his sleep, and seemed content once more. Remus found himself wondering how Harry stayed asleep during the shouting, but remembered how soundly James could sleep back in the dorms, both with his and Sirius's nightmares, and their later  _ midnight escapades _ . Brushing a thumb over Harry's soft, rosy cheek, he smiled to himself. At least Harry would grow up not believing all that preconceived judgement nonsense.

"You need to keep your boyfriend on a leash!" Sirius hissed to his brother, straightening out his leather jacket from where James had crumpled it up. Remus was glad James had held him back, though. At least Sirius hadn't punched anyone trying to defend someone he was no longer in love with. 

"And I believe Gwyar would be saying that to you," Regulus deadpanned with raised brows. "But I do apologise for his temper and words. Remus, you are okay?"

Remus nodded. "I'm okay. Not anything I haven't heard before." He said through tight lips. Sirius looked at him. Right at him. His eyes were dark, watering, and Remus could see him take in a stuttering breath. 

"I'm glad. Please, expect an apology from him."

"I don't," Remus admitted, "And I won't. But I appreciate you trying. Are you... are you going to go to him?"

"No, not now. He needs time to cool off. Perhaps I'll go back to my place and leave you all to it. One thing Gwyar was right about was you all needing to talk and plan." He walked over to Remus, and lightly touched Harry's head, just as Remus passed the young boy back to his mother. "Mr and Mrs Potter, I wish you the best, but I'll take my leave now."

Regulus then moved to Sirius, and stuck his hand out. As Sirius reached to take it, in perhaps the friendliest and most brotherly goodbye the pair could have had at the time, there was another crack in the air, and Remus spun on his heel.

"You!"

Gwyar, back in the room after only three short minutes, had stormed to Remus, grabbing the scruff of his tatty shirt and pinning him to the wall. There was an uproar, shouts from everyone, and Regulus ran to pull him off. 

"I bet it was your kind!" Vaughan snapped, pushing Remus further into the wall. 

"Get off of him, Gwy!"

"You and your other nasty Lyco friends! It was you!"

"Vaughan, back the fuck off of him before I hurt you!"

Gwyar's fist was pressed into Remus's neck, he was lifting the smaller man up until Remus almost couldn't touch the ground with his toes, and Remus was shaking as anger and fear built up and up and up. Eventually, Sirius pried his fingers from the fabric as Regulus, who was strong despite his size, pushed Gwyar back to the other side of the room.

"Let go of me!" He shouted, writhing and huffing in his friend's grip. Dumbledore was there now, also holding him back as he lunged again, trying to grab for Remus. Lupin leant against the wall, panting as Lily, still clinging to her son, rushed to his side to check on him. 

"The fuck is your deal?!" Sirius roared, being held back by James. Lily was patting Remus down, brushing sweaty hair back from his forehead, fervorously making sure he was okay. Remus, still trying to catch his breath, tried to tell her he was fine, his wheezing falling quiet behind Sirius's shouting. "You better start explaining!" He continued to bellow. Gwyar didn't reply, instead twitching with fury as Regulus kept him pushed against the wall in an attempt to keep him restrained. " _ Now _ !"

"They know Regulus is alive!" Gwy eventually tried to shout, his yell dissolving into something of a sob as he slumped against Regulus. "The cottage was torn up, completely and utterly fucking wrecked."

"And how in Merlin's name is that Rem's fault!?"

"It was torn up by werewolves!"

The room fell silent. 

The mood seemed to flip. Where rage had once filled the room was a sense of mourning. A breath caught in Remus's throat. Lily's hand, the one not holding Harry and instead gliding over Remus's face, stilled against his cheek. Regulus's face twisted, in anger and sadness and stress all at once, and Gwyar ran a hand over his face, groaning into his palm. Sirius had stopped trying to escape James's grip, and both of their expressions turned into something like sympathy. It was hard enough to watch someone's home, a home they all knew Gwyar had worked hard to make, despite his unorthodox methods, to be destroyed. It was even harder for that home to be destroyed by the creatures someone hated the most. Creatures that were the same kind as your best friend. 

Remus didn't need the look of pity that fleeted across all of their faces, even just for a moment.

"It seems," Dumbledore's muttering echoed around the room as Remus stuck a hand into his pocket, "As though you, Mr Vaughan, are no longer safe."

"Nor am I," Regulus mentioned. "I realise, in a... flurry of anger, I let slip my living situation to both Sirius, and those in the Diner who attacked us. I'd expect that Death Eater attacks in Birmingham will be on the rise."

Remus felt around in his coat pocket, finding a piece of parchment and a muggle ink pen. 

"Very well. Discussions must be had soon, if not now. Lily, James, I hope that your place in the West Country is more than suitable. Under other circumstances, I'd love for you to be somewhere better, but seeing as we are desperate, it shall have to make do. Stay here, please. Wards are up to keep others out, including Pettigrew and other members of the Order for now. The first point of call for me, it seems, is to your cottage. I don't want you turning up there when it's not protected. I shall... give you all time to say your goodbyes, and I'll return for both the Potters and Misters Black and Vaughan shortly. James, a word?"

James nodded, letting go of his friend, and he and Dumbledore began talking in the corner.

"Shit..." Regulus murmured, his body slumping as the words seemed to finally sink in. "Shit! Your place, all your stuff- Gwy-"

"It's fine," Gwyar said in a way that assured everyone is very much wasn't fine, "It's okay. You're safe, I'll keep you safe, that's all I need."

Sirius walked over to Reg, patting his little brother on the back and glaring at Gwyar, offering his condolences as Remus bought the parchment from out of his pocket. He slipped it into Lily's hand, before making his own way to Vaughan and Regulus. 

Vaughan's face was like thunder, and he stared down at Remus with a look that could kill, but Remus tried to shake it off.

"You'll be okay," Remus tried to reassure, looking over to Lily who was looking at him with a mix of curiosity and suspicion. "You'll be fine."

***

_ lils _

_ once dumbledore has left take james to kitchen _

_ ill meet you in there _

_ i have a plan harry will be okay _


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I nearly forgot to post this chapter because I've been sucked into another project and it's my grandmothers birthday today~ but I think I'd have been hunted down if I did forget, so here we are!!!
> 
> I hope you enjoy <3 p.s Silverlocke is a reference to a character from a wonderful fanfiction called Shifting Lines, and it's well worth checking out!!!!!!!! Shifting Lines by DovahTobi on AO3
> 
> Trigger Warnings:  
> -None

_ Marls, Dorky and Mary,  _

_ Hello, my gorgeous girls. I don't really know what's going on at the moment, but a lot has happened since I bought Regulus back to the HQ (Yes, Reg is alive, it's a long story but Marlene can explain). _

_ I don't know what I can and can't tell you, which I hate, but I want you to know we're all safe and love you dearly. Send our best wishes to the Prewett's and Weasley's, and even old Moody and Aberforth if you're feeling nice! I promise, as soon as we know what's going on, we'll contact you. Merlin knows Dumbledore won't say a thing. _

_ Please, please stay safe.  _

_ Sirius _

_ P.S. Dorky, look after yourself, please. We both know what you're like. <3 _

***

Sirius tightened his grip in his mug as he left the letter stuck to the wall in an envelope. He couldn't stand the thought of them - or anyone in the Order - not knowing where they all were. Not when Sirius himself didn't know where they'd be.

Gwyar and Regulus were in the corner on the sofa, a few inches between them, while they talked over everything in hushed voices. 

"Everything was torn up," Gwyar explained, "It was all scratched, and you could see claw marks and- it's all gone, Regulus."

His voice was calmer now, toned down and not as angry as he was when he'd accused Remus, and he resembled the stoic young teen Sirius was so familiar with back at school. He looked up, saw Sirius walking through the vestry, and gave a curt, if not tense, nod. Sirius didn't want to acknowledge him, not really. Not after he's launched himself at Remus, calling him such horrible names. But Remus wasn't his to care for anymore. When most of his hate landed on two other people (Snape, and his own mother), Sirius couldn't feel anything for Gwyar other than pity.

He nodded back, and kept walking. 

Against the left wall, away from the door, was Harry. He was resting in a cot Lily had transfigured from an old wooden cabinet, smiling dazedly in his sleep like he was having the most wonderful dream. Sirius wouldn't dare disturb him, but he leant over either way, running the tip of his finger down his godson's nose. 

"Hey little boy," Sirius whispered, as to not disturb both Harry, and Regulus and Gwyar talking in the corner. "How’s my little Prongslet? You need to be safe, Harry," Sirius found himself muttering, "You need to be safe and strong for everyone, my little boy. Your mum and dad love you so much. Uncle Pads and Moony love you  _ so _ much. You're so loved by everyone who meets you, and you're going to do wonderful things, okay? Wonderful, great things."

Harry grumbled in his sleep, and Sirius smiled to himself.

Sirius heard a noise from the kitchen, then a huff, so stood outside of the door to listen in. Lily, James and Remus had slipped in there soon after Dumbledore left for the Potters, and twenty minutes later, still hadn't emerged, and Sirius was desperate to know what was being discussed. 

"No! Not a chance!" An enraged Lily shout-whispered, to whom, Sirius didn't know. 

"Come on, Lily, love, just think about it," James whispered back.

"No! What on earth are you thinking, Remus? I thought you were supposed to be the smart one!"

"Firstly," Sirius laughed, stepping into the kitchen with a dramatic hand gesture and scaring all three of them. He closed the door behind him, and prayed the conversation wouldn't be listened in on. "I resent the implication that Rem is the only smart one. And secondly, let's be honest, if it's an idea by our dear Moony, then it's probably the best option we have!"

Remus rolled his eyes, "Yes, Padfoot, thanks, but there's no need to defend me."  _ That's not your job anymore _ lingered unsaid in the air.

"Well go on then, tell me."

"This idiotic boy- uh, friend of yours came up with a  _ genius  _ plan to get himself  _ killed _ !" Lily hissed, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"The plan is?"

"To find the Horcruxes," Remus jumped in before Lily or James could say. "Or, at the very least, some of them."

"Which is dumb and impossible and dangerous!"

"Or, could save yours and Harry's lives," He reasoned.

Lily threw her hands up, groaning exasperatedly at Remus's argument. 

"No, you can't, Rem! What if you get hurt?! You'll be on your own!"

Lily was pacing around the kitchen, huffing and sighing with every step, while James looked close to pulling his hair out.

"What do you mean 'he'll be on his own'?" Sirius asked with a tense laugh. "Rem, you must be kidding if you think I'm not coming with you!"

"WHAT?!"

"Sirius, I don't know if that's a great idea."

"NOT A CHANCE!"

"I mean no, perhaps not. I know you don't want me there for obvious reasons, but I can't let you go on your own."

"ARE EITHER OF YOU LISTENING TO ME?!"

"Are you sure? I don't know how long it'll take?"

Lily, giving up her shouting, groaned loudly. 

"Of course, Moony. Me and you'll take care of all this, yes?"

"Yes..." Remus muttered, rubbing his chin, "Yes, I think this could work. First port of call is Grimmauld Place to get the locket, and then we'll figure out how to destroy it while we hunt for the others, and-"

"Well, I'm obviously coming with you both!" James jumped in.

Everyone fell silent, and Sirius didn't need to look at Lily to know what the expression on her face was.

"James," She said horrifyingly calm, "I want you to think very long and hard about what you just said there. You're suggesting you leave your wife and child at home while you go with your friends to kill the Dark Lord? Are you kidding me?"

"Think about it, Lily!" James whispered. He sounded desperate. Pleading. "Rem graduated top of this class in everything!"

"Except potions," Sirius laughed.

"Well, yes, except that. But other than that, Moons was top in everything! He finished Defence against the Dark Arts a year early, for Merlin's sake! There's no one better! And Sirius, well, there's no one more knowledgeable on this side of it all when it comes to the Dark Arts themselves! Pads knows his stuff, he can get us into Grimmauld Place, and you know just how good he is with attacking. And I'm great with both attacking and defensive, and have the money and resources to help out!"

"Then I'm coming too!" She shouted quickly, and then looked shocked, as though she didn't expect to have said it.

"Who'll look after Prongslet?" Sirius reminded with a shrug.

"James, love, I don't-"

"Lily, please. We could save Harry, the three of us."

She stepped forward, holding her husband's face in her hand, tears welling up in her eyes. "And what about me, huh? I could lose you."

"You won't, I promise you. We're Marauders," He chuckled. "Strong, smart, and together. I promise, we'll come back whenever we can. We'll make sure you're not on your own looking after Harry, and it'll all be okay."

"I don't want my little boy to grow up without his dad."

"He's not gonna grow up without his mum  _ or  _ dad, I swear. We go, we destroy the Horcruxes and come back to give our little boy the best life he could possibly have, okay?"

Lily took in a stuttering breath, and leant up to kiss James. Tears were trailing down her cheeks, and James bought his hand up to wipe them away gently. 

"Okay," Lily whispered, kissing him again.

"Okay?"

"I trust you. All three of you," She whispered, smiling, looking over to Sirius and Remus. 

Sirius slipped his hand into Remus's and managed a single squeeze, before Remus shook him off and pulled his hands behind his back.

"Okay, Rem, what's the plan?" He asked, trying to ignore the twisting feeling in his chest. It was his fault, he knew, but he wanted nothing more than to feel Remus's hand in his, lips on his, smiling with more affection than Sirius could comprehend.

"Now I have you all on board with that," Remus spoke lowly, leaning against the wall. He smiled at Lily, and then at James. "I'll explain the rest. But- I don't think this will go down too well."

"Oh yes, because the rest of that went swimmingly!"

"What will happen is the three of us, myself, Sirius and James, will leave for Grimmauld place. We'll get the locket from there, and while figuring out where the rest are and how to destroy them, we'll keep moving about. The longer we stay in one place, the more dangerous it'll be, and coming back will put everyone else in danger. We'll stay in all sorts of places, probably quite a few Muggle ones to keep everyone off the track, maybe some time camping, and perhaps stay in Diagon Alley."

"What about Hogwarts? There's nowhere safer."

"No, no, not possible, at least not right away," Remus shook his head, "Dumbledore can't be told about this before we go. He'll try to stop us, and while I owe him a lot, I'm doing this with his say or without it. He'll know once he comes back here for Lily, James and Harry, in which case we'll have already left. His reaction will show us if we can rely on him for help or not. I hadn't considered it until now, but depending on when Voldemort made them, depends on whether there might be any on Hogwarts grounds. Horcruxes, I mean. Well, either way, I'm not using any of the passages to get into the grounds, not without the map. That being said... the Shack would be a good place to hide if needed. So, Hogwarts is a no-go, but Hogsmeade and such is okay. Get locket, destroy locket, find others. Yes, that's what we do. In the meantime, Lily..."

"Yes?"

"You, Regulus and Gwyar will stay at the cottage with Harry, so that everyone stays safe. You'll still be able to write to us, and Regulus and Gwyar - particularly Gwyar - have knowledge we could only dream of. Their cooperation is imperative for this to work."

Sirius laughed sardonically, "Oh yeah, because we'll definitely be able to get them to agree to that."

"We're offering them safety," James pointed out. "You know as well as I that Gwyar would do anything to keep Regulus safe."

"Even if it means living with someone like me," Lily agreed.

Remus nodded. "Yes, exactly. Plus, as much as it might be... odd for them, it means Lily isn't on her own looking after Harry. It's a win-win, uh, well, win-win- _ win  _ situation, really."

"Even though the thought of my son near that twat makes my stomach churn," James snarled, "It does make sense. Lils won't be on her own, and everyone's safe."

"Except for you," Lily muttered, and she and James exchanged sad smiles.

Sirius rolled back his shoulders and tried to relax. Really, he had nothing else to do, nothing else to live for. If he could save Harry, Lily and James, then any level of danger was worth it. What had him nervous, however, was Moony. While intelligent, ambitious, responsible and talented, Remus was also anxious, self-sacrificing, and at times weak-willed. Even as he continued to explain to James and Lily more of the plan, Sirius could see him shaking, picking at his nails and stumbling over his words. The thought of Remus wanting - trying - to go about this alone has tears springing to his eyes. He could imagine Remus's self-deprecation when he didn't get something right, his physical and emotional turmoil as he pushed and pushed and pushed, not looking after himself as he tried to help. He could so clearly picture Remus tearing himself up with worry and anxiety over everyone else at home, sitting wherever he was, completely and utterly alone. 

Protecting Harry was one thing. Protecting Remus was an even bigger thing.

"Okay," Sirius said. He took in a deep breath as everyone turned to him. "So, what now? When do we leave?"

Remus shrugged. "Now."

***

'Now' in Remus's eyes was not the same as in Sirius's eyes, so he realised. Hearing 'now' had Sirius practically vibrating on the spot, itching to say their goodbyes and get going. Nothing drew him in like adventure, and even though this one was dangerous to immeasurable amounts, he was more than excited to set off.

But then, Remus had insisted there was a little more to be done first. Sirius and Remus left the kitchen so James and Lily could talk a little more in peace, and the former pair told Gwyar and Regulus what the plan was. Sirius tried to block out the shouting and the crying they heard from the other room. The next hour was spent working out the logistics. Gwyar gave his suggestions on where the Horcruxes might be, particularly who Voldemort trusted the most to look after the third Horcrux. There were a few names that came to mind - Snape, Avery, Silverlocke, who they'd all gone to school with, and Malfoy, who'd only been in Hogwarts with them for one year but had their fair share of run-ins. Sirius was suspicious at first, constantly asking Gwyar if this was all a setup and he had the Horcrux, but after forty minutes of denials, Sirius began to believe him. 

Then, they began to talk about how the Horcruxes could be destroyed. Not much came to light, even as James and Lily came into the room and joined them.

"So, no one has a clue, basically?" James asked. He bought Harry from the cot, cuddling him as he and Lily joined Gwyar and Regulus on the sofa.

"Not one," Regulus sighed, "There are... theories, of course, but nothing- nothing solid. It could be anything. Dark Creature blood, venom from an animal, a weapon, the creator themselves, an Unforgivable curse we don't know of. It could well and truly be anything."

"So we'll cross that bridge when we get to it! Moony's smart, he'll figure it out," Sirius said with an air of renewed enthusiasm, "What about things we need? Like, to take?"

"I've got most of it sorted. If- if we c-can get into my f-f-fathers cottage-"

"Your father?" Sirius hissed, bile in his throat at the mere mention of Lyall.

"Calm down, Siri. Yes, my f-father. There's plenty of stuff in the attic that would be useful. We just have to get there. But I say we do that after we've gone to Grimmauld Place. Making sure that locket is safe and in our possession is pretty much our only worry at the moment."

"Money?" Gwyar questioned, picking at his nails. "You'll need some, yes?"

"We have plenty," Sirius jumped in, well aware that his tone came across as snarky and defensive, and not able to bring himself to care. "It is all in knuts and galleons, though."

"No sickles, hm? Wonder why."

"You better shut your mouth, before I shove your fucking sickles up your-"

"Can both of you," Regulus snapped, "Just leave it, please! For Merlin's sake, you'd think you were both back in first year! You're acting like Snape," He added on snidely, his lips quirking up at the comment. "Please, Remus," He encouraged.

"Ah- well, I have a little money. About two hundred and fifty in pounds, I think. It'll get us a fair few nights somewhere, as well as other things we'll need. But we should go to Gringotts as soon as, exchange some more so we have a decent emergency fund."

"You're a little strapped in that case."

"Why?"

"Firstly, your key? Where is it?"

"It's at... oh," Remus trailed off dejectedly. "It's at Peter's."

"No luck there, then," Regulus said, "But not only that, but Gringotts is being horribly strict on almost anything, now. People are after Sirius now, with what occurred at the diner. Knowing your...  _ situation  _ with him, they'll be after you, too. Perhaps even Potter."

"Another bridge we'll cross when we get to it," Remus echoed Sirius's words. "We're okay for now. That's all that matters."

"So, what now?" Sirius asked.

"I'm not exactly sure. We can't sit around and plan all day, so perhaps the best thing to do is just... go."

"Where first?"

"My place," James said, "Well, your Great Aunt's place, that is," He said to Sirius, "They left their house to my parents and then to me. I haven't had the chance to do anything with it. It's just been sitting there for almost four years, so it's the last place anyone will look."

"Ah, okay, that makes- wait, what? Aunt Dorea left the house to you and not me?!" Sirius asked, outraged, but laughter colouring his voice. 

"Yes! Idiot! They weren't gonna give it to the newly disowned kid, were they?"

"Ah- well, no."

"Exactly. Oh, and guys," James turned to Gwyar, Lily and Regulus. "You can't tell Dumbledore that's where we're at. Or the rest of where we plan to go."

"Of course not, Potter."

"Not a word."

"I'll make sure they don't say anything," Lily reassured them. "What do we tell him?"

James shrugged. "Everything else, I guess. Not like you can hide it from him."

Sirius caught as Remus began bouncing his leg anxiously, clearly desperate to speak up.

"I think," Sirius said in place of him, "That we need to get going. We're screwed if Dumbledore gets here, so..." He stood up, followed by Remus, brushing off the dirt from his trousers dramatically, then ran his fingers through his hair. 

Sirius didn't recall ever being in such a high-strung, heavy atmosphere before. The air was so thick he found it hard to breathe, and he was shaking on the spot. He felt something on the back of his hand, and for a moment, saw Remus brush their hands together. He, while savouring the warmth left it its wake, wondered if it had been intentional or not, as Remus only stared straight ahead.

"Yeah, we..." James stood up slowly, Harry still in his arms, swaddled tightly. "We need to go."

"Okay," Lily whispered. "Please stay safe, love."

"I will."

"You promise?"

"I promise. I promise to the ends of the universe and the edge of the sea. And you, little man," Harry was still asleep, but smiled as though he could hear his father speaking to him. "You need to be strong for mummy, okay? You need to be good for your mum and Regulus, and I'll see you soon. I- I love you, Harry James Potter, I love you so much," He sobbed, pulling Harry closer still as a singular tear ran down his cheek. "M-me, Uncle Moony and Uncle P-Pads will be home soon, okay? We'll... we'll get you that baby broom for your birthday, and Moons will tell us off when we break something, and you'll grow up strong and happy and loved, my boy, I promise you."

Hugging his son one last time, he handed him back to Lily. They began talking, hushed, and Sirius knew to give them some privacy. 

"I'm gonna say goodbye to Reg, alright?" Sirius said to Remus, who was staring off into nowhere, deep in thought. 

"Yeah. I'm gonna say goodbye to Lily once her and James are done, and then we can go? Apparate?"

"Sounds good with me, Moons. Are you... are you doing okay?"

Remus plastered on a smile. "Fine. Are you?"

"Yeah, fine." He sighed. He ruffled his friend's hair, enjoying the soft, fluffy feeling on his fingertips, before turning on his heel to speak to his brother. He turned back around quickly. "Rem?"

"Hm, Pads?" Remus turned back around too, startled at Sirius's continuation of the conversation.

"We're going to be okay, aren't we?"

Sirius wasn't sure what he was asking. Was he asking if the three of them were going to be okay? They might be insanely talented, but they were up against dark, dark magic, and had no light to guide them. Was he just looking for reassurance that they could all come out of this alive and unscathed, back to their families? Or, was he asking if he and Remus would be okay? Was he asking if he and Remus, with lingering feelings of love and fear and hatred, be okay? Would they be pretending nothing has ever happened between them, or could Sirius turn this as an opportunity to remind - nay, show - Remus just how much he meant to him, how much they had left and could salvage. 

It wouldn't be easy, of course, but if Sirius could destroy Horcruxes, then he could convince Remus Lupin he was still in love with him easily. 

All it would take is time and trust. 

"Of course we are, Sirius," Remus tried to smile, before walking over to Lily without another word.

"Please."

"Huh?" 

Regulus snapped Sirius from his moment, and he turned around sharpishly to come face to face with his brother. Gwyar was still on the sofa, watching everyone around the room with a strange mix of intent and boredom, picking at his nails. 

"Please, promise me one thing."

"That depends, Reggie!"

"Okay, scratch that. Promise me two things. Firstly, never call me Reggie again," He grimaced. 

"Yeah, can't promise that one, Kiddo! What's number two?"

Regulus took in a sharp breath, and looked down to his feet. "Stay safe," He muttered. 

"I- oh, uh, not what I expected," Sirius tried to laugh off. Sirius and Regulus had been somewhat affectionate towards one another until they were around eleven - until Sirius went to school - but after that, their relationship had been devoid of anything brotherly.

"I didn't think you would. But, yes, stay safe. You... you don't understand how powerful he is." Regulus looked up through his hair, piercing grey eyes staring at Sirius. The air seemed to catch between them, with something that made Sirius want to pull his brother into a hug. He wanted to hold him and never let go. 

Regulus was alive. 

And Sirius was leaving again.

"Pads?" Remus's voice called from over by Lily and James. "Good to go?"

For a moment, Sirius didn't move. His feet stayed fixed on the floor, his eyes looking steadily at Regulus, and he wondered if he should say something. A 'thank you' should have been in order at the very least, for warning them when Dumbledore didn't. An 'I missed you' might have been appropriate, but he wondered if it was a few years too late for that. Instead, he put his hand on his brother's shoulder, and smiled.

"Yeah, Moons, I am," He called back, dropping his arm before walking over to Remus. 

Sirius couldn't help notice how Regulus seemed to look disappointed.

He looped his arm with Remus's, watching on as James gave Lily another kiss on her forehead, and then did the same to Harry. He walked, painfully slow, to Remus's other side, and took his hand. All three held a tight grip on one another, eyes flickering between Lily, Gwyar and Regulus in front of them. Lily was crying, mascara wet under her eyes as she clung onto a whimpering, whining Harry, like the young boy knew what was happening, and was trying to plead for his father not to go.

Remus squeezed Sirius's arm.

"Ready?" He whispered, leaning close to Sirius as he did, his breath tickling the shell of Sirius's ear.

"As ready as I'll ever be." Sirius smiled as Remus took in a deep breath.

Lily gave a muffled sob, and smiled at her husband. "I love you, James Potter."

"I love you too, Lily Evans."

"Hey," She laughed, sniffling as she did, "That's Potter to you."

There was a pause, only for a moment, before everything went black.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy the chapter, my loves! <3<3
> 
> Trigger/Content Warnings:
> 
> -References to sickness  
> -Mentions of injuries, but nothing graphic

Everything felt tight, as though it was squished and they'd been shoved into a small tunnel. His chest felt hot and burning, and he couldn't tell if what he saw was blackness or nothingness. After a moment, there was light, and an overwhelming feeling of dizziness and nausea. 

"Ugh..." Sirius groaned, clutching his stomach and stumbling backwards. His head was swimming, and the light of the sun beginning to rise was so unbelievably bright it was burning his eyes. He felt something on his back, and squinted until he saw Remus and James looking at him anxiously, the former with his hand resting on Sirius's shoulder blade. 

"You never did like Apparating, did you?" He snorted, far too amused for the pain Sirius was in. 

"Not one bit," Sirius wheezed out, trying to straighten himself up. His head was pounding, and his stomach was still twisting, but his eyes began to adjust, and everything no longer seemed too overexposed. "I'm good, I'm good."

"Okay, cool. You sure you're okay?"

"As right as rain, Moons."

"Alright, as long as there's no splinches or vomiting," James laughed, his steps sounding crunchy on the gravel of the driveway. "I don't know about you lads, but I'm fucking exhausted. How about we catch up on some sleep, and when we wake up, I'll cook us a fry-up or something."

"With what food?" Sirius scoffed.

"Oh, I'll find something, I'm sure. Come on, let's head on in."

The house - Sirius didn't want to call it 'The Potter's' because that always seemed to be reserved for Fleamont and Euphemia's place, even if they were no longer around - was bigger than Sirius could imagine. Grimmauld Place was tall and thin, fitting tightly amongst the townhouses, and paled in comparison to the striking Georgian building before them. It, in a way, made Sirius uneasy. It was gorgeous, light and large, a complete opposite to where Sirius grew up. He'd recalled having been here once, long before he and James had met, when he was hardly old enough to even remember the visit. 

Remus began walking up the driveway with determination, his feet dragging in the gravel as he left James and Sirius behind.

"He's probably not had a good night's sleep in weeks," James laughed, throwing his arm around his brother carelessly, the pair trailing after Moony a lot slower. "You know he never gets a comfy place to rest when he's away for the Order."

"Hm, probably."

Sirius looked to James, and couldn't help but notice how his eyes were red, puffed and dark, and there were still visible tear tracks on his cheek. "Hey, mate, are you sure you're okay? If you want to go-"

"No, I'm staying," He said, sure but not unkind. "I'll be okay. Lily's going to try and get another owl so we can all write to one another without it being recognised. She's gonna send pictures of Harry, and- yeah, I'll be okay," He repeated, smiling so wide and false that his cheeks pushed his glasses off of the bridge of his nose a little. 

With that settled, they arrived at the house and joined Remus on the porch. James muttered something in Latin, something that sounded like a family motto and likely had a politer meaning than Toujours Pur, and the door creaked open. 

Remus pushed it open further, stepping into the house and coughing. He got his wand from his pocket, and shined a small blue light to illuminate the hallway just enough for them to see.

"Merlin, how long since someone lived here?"

"Well, Great Aunt Dorea passed away in '77, and Charlus died before her, so four years?"

"This much dust has gathered in four years?" He asked in disbelief. "Ugh, I'll clean it once I've slept, it reminds me too much of- well, yes, anyway, I'll clean it tomorrow." 

As Sirius stepped in, he realised Remus wasn't over exaggerating in any way whatsoever. The doorway opened out into a corridor, with a set of stairs on the right. Before the stairs was an entrance to what looked like the drawing room, and opposite that was the door to the library. The wallpaper had a floral pattern on it and seemed as though it would have been a bright yellow back when it was first pasted up, and the trim was a faded mint green colour. Every surface from the bannister to the mahogany antique coffer was covered in a thick layer of dust. The air was musty and heavy, and all three of them were coughing and clearing their throats. 

"There's no point in cleaning, is there?" Sirius asked as Remus walked into the drawing room and pulled open the curtains. More dust shook from the fabric, and even a Flobberworm dropped out from within the folds with a squelching sound. At least there were no Doxies. "We aren't going to be here for that long."

Remus, with a flick of his wrist and utterance of  _ Evanesco _ , made the Flobberworm vanish. "Well, we don't really know. If our first, uh,  _ task _ , let's say, is getting the locket from Grimmauld Place, then we need to plan. It's not as though we can just waltz in there and take it."

"Hm, okay, good point. Maybe... maybe I should just go and get it, you know? I know my way around the house and all of Kreacher's hiding spots. He used to take all my Gryffindor stuff ready to give to my dearest mother when I was still living there, and I always found it eventually."

"The disinherited son walking into his old home won't go down very well, Sirius," Remus laughed. 

"And a Werewolf going in is any better? Do you-"

"Let us agree," James interrupted, leaning on the doorframe and looking into the drawing room, "That none of us are particularly suited to go in. So, either it's none of us or all of us, yes?"

"Yes, exactly," Sirius nodded.

James cleared his throat and continued, "That is, Moons, if you're okay, you know, breaking in."

Remus gave a sharp but quiet laugh, shaking his head and walking back over to James and Sirius. "I know my morals are slightly more intact than the pair of you, but I'm not that straight edge. I broke into plenty of places at Hogwarts, yes?"

"But Moony, a house is a little different to-"

"The extremely off-limits potions storeroom? Padfoot, I think I'll be fine. And anyway, we have a goal. Who cares about the means in which we get there," He shrugged, before yawning. He rubbed his eyes, and smiled. "But we'll talk more tomorrow, okay? I'm shattered, and coherent thoughts are not happening right now," Remus laughed. 

"Yeah, good plan," James agreed. "I'm gonna go up too, just gonna grab a drink first and see what state the kitchen is in."

"Okay. Any preference on rooms?"

"Nah Rem, not at all. Don't remember this place well enough to care! Take your pick."

"Okay, then," Remus yawned once more, "I'll see you both in the morning."

"Night, Moons."

"Sleep well, Remy."

With that, Remus gave a last sleepy smile before leaving the room, sluggishly heading up the stairs. 

"Coming with me to get a drink?" James asked Sirius, as both left the drawing room and made their way to the kitchen in the far back of the house. 

"Yeah, I don't think I could sleep right now."

"Nor can I, despite how tired I am."

They shuffled around the kitchen somewhat comfortably, casting quick cleaning charms on all the surfaces and checking all the cupboards. There wasn't much there, and Sirius assumed that Fleamont and Euphemia had come and cleared out the house from anything perishable years ago. He found the glasses, settling them on the kitchen counter as James filled them up. It was silent as they both stood still, drinking, a strange air around them. James would bring the glass away from his mouth and part his lips as though going to speak; he would, however, close them again without a word.

After the fifth time, Sirius sighed and placed his glass onto the counter with force.

"Spit it out, mate," He laughed, folding his arms and watching James intently. 

"Nothing, Siri."

"Yeah, there is. You having second thoughts?"

"Oh, Merlin, no!" James shouted, waving his hands about.

"Shush, Rem's trying to sleep!"

"Ah, sorry. Don't worry, I'm staying here, so stop asking."

Sirius pulled a face. "Then what is it?"

"He's still hurt, Sirius. You need to leave it, just for now."

"I don't get-"

"Ah, ah, ah," James stopped him. He waggled his finger in Sirius's face, and smiled as he did. "I know exactly what you're doing, Sirius, I watched you two pine over one another for years. I know how you're looking at Moony, but the last thing anyone needs is you using this as an opportunity to get him back." Sirius tried to open his mouth to speak, but James continued. "Don't get me wrong, I think you two do need to, and will, sort everything out and get back together, but maybe don't force it? Just... wait for him to come to you, yeah? You know as well as I that he has every right to still be upset and angry with you." 

"Yeah, yeah," Sirius nodded, agreeing. James was right (of course he was, the insufferable bastard, who's ego would just inflate if Sirius admitted it). The only thing Sirius had to do now was practise self-restraint, and wait for Remus to come to him. 

However long it would take. 

James let out a puff of air through his nose, and simpered, running his fingers through Sirius's hair. The elder swatted him away, laughing, before trying to expertly shape the waves of his hair back to perfection. 

"Come on, Pads, let's go up. Stay in my room tonight?"

"Yeah, of course, as long as we have black pudding at breakfast tomorrow!"

"Yuck," James grimaced. "Fine, it's a sacrifice I am willing to make!"

Looping their arms together, they moved back to the front of the house and headed up the stairs.

"James?" Sirius asked in a whisper, sure he could hear light snoring coming from behind a doorway in the middle of the landing.

"Yeah, Pads?"

"We won't be here long, right?"

"Of course not," James reassured, smiling. "A few days at the most, and then we're off to get the locket."

"Okay, cool."

"Come on, I'm fucking shattered."

***

_ 20th January 1981 _

_ To Padfoot, _

_ Merlin, this is awful.  _

_ How long have you been gone now? I don't like counting, it makes me miss you all even more.  _

_ Gwyar's already going mad. He's pacing about, desperate to do something to help. We're all feeling rather useless but, so far, haven't left.  _

_ I don't really have much to say or to write about. I hope something more interesting has been happening with you guys?  _

_ How’s James, and Remus? Are you alright, holding up well? I hope the moon was injury-free. Perhaps I should use this time to become an animagus? James would kill me, but it would be interesting. I'd probably be a doe. _

_ I love you Sirius, all three of you. I'll see you soon, hopefully.  _

_ Lots of love,  _

_ Lilypads xx _

_ P.s. _

_ Dumbledore is still pissed off you left. _

_ I mean, he's not saying it, but you know that look he gets? When his eyes are ever so slightly narrowed or eyebrows a little lower? He's like that (he's come to check up on us a few times).  _

_ It's not how he was back when everything happened in Fifth Year, but you can almost feel the anger radiating off of him. Hopefully, he'll calm down eventually and you can write to him for help. Has he written to you at all? _

  
  


_ *** _

_ 23rd January 1981 _

_ To Lilypads, _

_ Nothing's quite going right, Lils. _

_ We've been gone 22 days now, and no progress has been made. A lot of our time has been spent mulling around and scoping out my old home to figure out a way in, but it's not going well. Mother seems to be there all the time. I think she's far too ill, and quite delirious to leave. I've seen Bellatrix going in and out a few times, along with her husband, and Narcissa with her young boy, but Walburga never comes out. We've been taking it in turns to watch the place ready for when she does leave, but nothing's happened so far.  _

_ Remus shoved himself into research, of course, to try and figure out how to destroy the Horcruxes once we do have them, but nothings come to light. He's got a list of magical substances, potions, spells and weapons that might have a chance that he's determined to cross off one by one, but that'll take forever! Then again, knowing Moony, he'll probably invent a whole new spell that'll work! If anyone can figure out the impossible - figure out something that even old Dumbledore can't do - it's Remus.  _

_ James is going mad without you. I think we all are. Jamie won't stop rattling on, talking to himself and asking what you're all up to! It's not even been a month, and he's itching to see you again. Remus would only ever listen to you to get him to stop studying and eat a little, and I can see he's desperate for a hug. And so am I. But, on the bright side, there's been no arguments yet!  _

_ Well.  _

_ Remus was a bit stubborn after the full moon three nights ago. I think with it having been Peter's birthday, as well as the first moon Remus has spent with us since joining the Order, he was more than reluctant to accept any help. I think it's all smoothed over now, though, and he's not too injured (at least compared to other times), just a little tired and sore. But other than that, argument free! _

_ I hope my brother and his companion have caused you no trouble and are helping out with Harry at least a little. How is Harry, the little monster? I miss him. I hope you're okay, too. Please write back and tell me what you're all up to! Fingers crossed things have been a little more exciting! Hopefully, by the time we get that, we'll be somewhere else and will have made a little progress.  _

_ I love you, Lilypad. _

_ Padfoot. <3 _

_ P.S. _

_ Of course the old man is still pissed! We completely went against him. Bet he's not used to that, huh? I'm shocked Remus isn't completely tearing himself up over not following Dumbledore's every beck and call for once. Good on him. _

_ Yeah, I think we'll need his help eventually, but I'm sure we'll give it a few months first. Leave him to cool down for as long as possible. Plus, no, he's not written to us, so I doubt he's in the position to want to talk to us right now. Oh well, we'll be fine without him. We have Moony after all! _

  
  
  


***

Sirius yawned as he tied off the string around the letter, squeezing his eyes closed tightly in a poor attempt to wake himself up. He tilted his head one way, and then the other, the bones in his neck clicking as he did. There was a coo from next to him, and Sirius looked to the window to see Laikada, the gorgeous, carob coloured Barred Owl Gwyar had bought in Diagon Alley for them all to use, peering into the drawing room. The room was cast in the golden light of the mid-morning, even though it was only mid-January and everything should have been dull and grey. 

"Take this to Lily Potter," Sirius said softly, reaching over with the letter in hand until Laikada took the string in her beak. After a last hoot, she flew off out of the window towards the sun. 

There was scratching from the other side of the drawing room where Remus was sitting on the musty, brown sofa, books and parchment spread about. One leg, his left one, was stretched out and resting on the pouffe, while the other was tucked underneath him. He was hunched over so much his spine formed a perfect curve, and he was nose-deep into a book. Every now and then, he'd look away, scribble something down on a scrap piece of paper, and then resume reading. 

"Moons, don't you think it's time for a break?" Sirius suggested, realising Remus had been in the same position since Sirius came down for breakfast that morning (at around seven am) until now (where it was about noon). It was only three days since the full. He still had bandages around his shoulder, not quite concealed by the three sizes too big t-shirt he had on, and there were still grazes on his face that had been so deep they were yet to heal, even for a werewolf's regenerative standards. There were also, Sirius remembered, bandages wrapped around Remus's left leg, underneath the second-hand corduroy trousers he had on.

"Mmmm no, can't..." Remus muttered, his lips around the end of the muggle pen he was so insistent in using. He responded to Sirius's voice in a faraway tone, as though talking to Sirius was the last thing on his mind.

It probably was.

"Why not, Rem?"

"Not making progress," He mumbled once more.

"Somehow, Remy, I don't think sitting there and staring at the same page of  _ Moste Potente Potions _ for another two hours will bring progress your way. Take a break, have a breather. I'll make some tea-"

"Pour some wine," Remus corrected.

"And we'll look over everything with fresh eyes, okay?"

Remus finally looked up from his book, closing it with a dramatic flair that was typically reserved for when James and Sirius had done something dumb. He let out a hefty sigh, sinking his shoulders and shaking his head. 

There was still affection in the look he gave Sirius; or, at least, Sirius hoped it was affection. The feeling, one that once crackled and intensified between them with every passing look and small smile, was weak, but still there, if the small flinch and simper on Remus's face every time they looked at one another told him anything. 

"Alright," He huffed, pushing up off of the sofa, whimpering as he did and grabbing his thigh. 

"Yikes, come here."

"No, Sirius, I'm fine," Remus said firmly, pulling his hand away when Sirius tried to hold him. "Let's just go to the kitchen so I can get something to eat, come on."

They made it halfway down the corridor before Remus gave in, leaning against Sirius's side and hobbling the rest of the way. Sirius leant Remus against the rickety wooden table in the kitchen, and grabbed two bohemian crystal wine glasses from the cabinet. He began hunting around, looking for the bottle of Port he knew Remus bought from the shops just before the full moon.

"In the pantry, Pads, just like everything else," Remus drawled sardonically, waving a hand unenthusiastically. Remus jumped on his good leg, hoisting himself up onto the table while Sirius found the wine and bought it out. Sirius poured it out into the glasses. The sound of pouring liquid and the creaking of the table underneath Remus's (minimal) weight was deafeningly loud against the silence of the room. Taking one for himself, he gave the other to Remus, and they both lifted their glasses.

"To progress?" Sirius tried to toast, but it came out less sure and more questioning than he'd intended.

"Or lack thereof," Remus snorted. He took a sip of wine, and smiled. "Ugh, who needs some fancy potions for healing when you can just drink red wine after a full," Remus smiled, tipping the glass towards Sirius with a smirk. It filled Sirius with more joy than he could comprehend, seeing Remus relaxed and joking with him, just a little. He hadn't heard Remus's laugh since-

_ Since the day you broke up with him _ , his brain helpfully supplied. 

As quick as the calm atmosphere around them appeared, he disappeared when Remus frowned.

"Look, Sirius," He started twirling his half-full glass between his thumb and forefinger. "I've been meaning, well, w-wanting to say. I-I mean, since- well, s-since-"

There was an earsplitting crack, and Sirius tore his eyes away from Remus to see James running a hand through his unkempt hair.

"The hell are you doing here, mate?" Sirius asked, pulling a face and looking oddly at James. 

"Oh," James smiled, plucking the glass from Sirius's hands and drinking the last of the wine in one quick swig. "She left."

"Huh?"

"Walburga left and it seemed like nothing else was happening, so might as well come back," He shrugged, as though it was nothing. 

"Why the fuck are you saying that as though it's nothing?!" Remus yelled, slamming down the glass with such force that the wine spilt over the edge. "We need to go!" He jumped down from the counter, landing on his left leg before it buckled beneath him and he went tumbling to the floor with a yelp. Sirius ran to his side instantly, grabbing onto him and pulling him back straight and standing.

"That," James said pointedly with a tut, then helping Sirius hold him upright, "Is exactly why. You're in no fit state to go, and we're not leaving you behind."

"Who knows when she next leaves! We need to make our move today!"

"No, we don't, Moony! We've waited for three weeks, we'll wait as many more as we need, okay?"

"What if, Prongs," Remus said, "She doesn't leave again until the next moon, huh? We can't wait on account of my-  _ issues _ ."

James lowered his voice, almost to a hiss. "You practically tore your leg off, Remus. You stabbed yourself on a tree branch! Now please for the love of all things holy  _ look after yourself for once _ ! You- Ugh! Sirius, back me up, here."

"Maybe Remus is right," Sirius said, not aware of his mouth even opening. 

"Thank you, Pads."

"I mean, this could be our only chance for months. Once we have the locket, we won't be doing much for a while, seeing as we don't know what to do. So, in a worst-case scenario, Remus can rest up after, okay?"

"Merlin, help me," James grumbled, resting his chin on Remus's head. "You two are mad."

"Rude," Remus giggled, "I was perfectly sane until I met you."

"Not wrong."

"Come on then!" Sirius grinned loudly with a clap, drawing the pair from their moment of laughter, "We going now, or what?"


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Writing has slowed up a little lately due to some very bad mental health days, but I'm grateful for backlog! :) I'm so overwhelmed by the love I've gotten from this fic, and I hope you all continue to enjoy it <3
> 
> Trigger/Content Warnings:  
> -Burn injuries

Remus felt Sirius press further into his side. He was crouched down to his level, both of them peering through a gap in the bush. James was above them, looking over to top at the townhouse. 

Grimmauld Place, while charmed and concealed to stop muggles going near, was still visible. It fit snugly amongst the other homes, and looked no different from the rest, other than the slightly more faded brick colour.

Remus had never been inside before. He knew - very vaguely - what to expect: dark colours, house-elf heads, artefacts that could burn you in only a touch. 

"So," James muttered, his voice vibrating where his stomach was pressed against Remus's back. "Where do you think the locket would be?"

"There are two places," Sirius answered. He stood upright, now looking over the bush alongside James. Remus would have tried, but he knew he'd not be able to see. 

"And they are?"

"Likely Kreacher's weird bedroom, in the basement. Or, there's a chance it could be up in Regulus's room. You know, seeing as Kreacher thinks he's dead and all that. Maybe it's some sentimental thing?"

"Hm, yeah," Remus nodded, standing up. "Perhaps. We might as well just go straight in, right? We know she's not there."

"Good plan, Moons. Let's go."

They made their way across the street, thankful that even for midday, there was no one about to see them (a punk, a jock-looking man and a weak, limping boy) running to the house. They ran - Remus hobbled - up the steps until they were at the door.

"Okay, now what?" James snorted, readjusting his glasses.

"Uh- well- Rem, any ideas?"

"Ugh, step aside," He couldn't help but roll his eyes as he laughed. " _ Alohamora _ ."

Nothing.

"Okay, I kinda guessed that wouldn't work. Uh...  _ Aberto _ !" Still nothing. " _ Liberare _ ?" Remus sighed, racking his brain until- "Ah!  _ Reserantes _ !"

There was a distinctive click sound, and the door unhitched.

"You, Moons, are a genius!" Sirius praised, and Remus tried to ignore the heat rising to his face as though he was back in Hogwarts first year. And second, and third.

"Yeah, Remus! Genius!"

"No, I just paid attention in Charms class," He retorted with a smirk. He reached a hand out to grab the knocker when James reached over him and snatched his wrist. 

James looked to Sirius gravely. "Silver?"

"Silver," Sirius nodded, pushing the door open with the palm of his hand of the wood. It creaked open slowly, revealing a dark and dingy hallway. 

"We've gotta be careful of Kreacher, okay?" Sirius reminded as the three of them stepped in, closing the door behind them. Everything was deafeningly silent. The floorboards creaked a little under their weight, and the house had its quiet, low groaning, but there were no footsteps, no tapping, and no voices. "Okay, I think we're all good."

Remus took a moment to look around the hallway more. There was another doorway on the left, and when Remus peered his head around to look down, he saw a second corridor. This one matched the first hallway. There was faded patterned wallpaper that was so dull it was turning grey, and dusty looking floorboards. He heard James grimace, and fake a gag, and Remus looked around to see his friend staring up at something on the wall.

"You know, I thought you were overexaggerating, mate," James said to Sirius while staring up at a wide selection of house-elves heads stuck to plaques. 

"Not one bit," Sirius said with a shrill laugh. He was looking up to the left of the hall, clearly up at the other floors. 

Sirius looked uncomfortable. His shoulders were tense, his back straighter, and he was continuously running his fingers through his hair, brushing it out of his face. He was, Remus knew, scared. 

"What the fuck..." Sirius muttered, walking over to James and Remus, but stopping just before them. There was something on the wall, which looked rather like a brass frame covered by a dark velvet curtain. Reaching up with delicate fingers, Sirius began to move back the fabric, only for it to shoot open of its own accord. 

"FILTH! UTTER FILTH! BLOOD TRAITORS IN MY HOME! BLOOD TRAITORS TAINTING THE NAME AND THE HOME OF MY FATHERS!"

The portrait screeched; a piercing, panicked, disgusted screech that instantly had Remus covering his ears. It didn't silence anything, though, and the words still rang loud and clear in the empty house.

"HOW DARE DIRTY TRAITORS STEP FOOT INTO MY HOME! HOW DARE THEY BRING-" The lady in the portrait, a grotesque, ill-looking woman in dark clothes, locked eyes with Remus, "-HALF BREEDS INTO MY HOME! HALF BREEDS AND NASTY BLOOD AND BLOOD TRAITORS! SCUM! SCUM!"

"Fuck!" 

James dove for the curtains, desperately trying to pull them across, but they seemed rigid, fixed in place and unmoving. The shrieking continued, just as loud and insulting as before, most shouts directed to Remus now, rather than James. Sirius dove in too, grabbing the right curtain and trying to tug it over. Remus stayed staring at the portrait while it roared at him. She was drooling, spitting with every curse word and shout sent his way; her face was so pale and pasty it was almost yellow and translucent. Her eyes were bloodshot and wide, and she looked nothing short of deranged. There was, however, a horrible familiarity to her. She had a small, narrow, upturned nose, and thin, rosy lips. Her cheekbones were high and protruding, and she even had a slight dimple on her right cheek. Looking at her with those features in focus, it was as clear as day. This was Sirius's mother. 

"Thanks for the help, Moony!" Sirius shouted, snapping Remus from his attentive watching. It was only then that he realised the curtains had been fully pulled over the portrait, and the screaming had stopped. He was now looking directly into a different pair of grey eyes, ones that bought various emotions sweeping over his body but generally more positive ones. 

"S-sorry, I-"

"No, it's fine," He sighed, placing a comforting hand on Remus's shoulder. "Well- uh. Remus, my mum. Mum, Remus," Sirius jokingly introduced, gesturing between Remus and the now covered portrait. "We always did talk about you meeting her."

They had, at that. Late night in the dorms, when Sirius would slip into Remus's bed after dark. It was before they ever told James and Peter about them being together, and they'd whispered under silencing charms to one another. 

"Imagine if you and my mother met," Sirius snorted sleepily one night, Remus's head on his chest. 

"Imagine if you and my father met!" Remus retorted. 

"No, no, wait! Your father, my mother!"

"Oh, Merlin!" Remus groaned, laughing. "That's a disaster waiting to happen! I'd rather snog Snivellus before that ever happened!"

That earned Remus a light smack on his head. 

"I think you failed to mention that thing!" James bellowed, huffing and puffing and leaning on Remus. "What the fuck!"

"I've never seen it before! She must- I don't know, have hung it up since I left?"

Clearing his throat, Remus nodded. "She was wearing all black, didn't you see?"

"I was kind of preoccupied with the  _ screaming _ , Moons!"

"Oh, for- black! Mourning! She must have had it painted once Reg and your father died."

"Huh..." Sirius muttered lamely, "I guess so,"

"Hate to break this up," James said, hopping from foot to foot, "But I really don't wanna be here any longer than we have to. Any chance we can get a shift on?"

"Yeah, 'course Jamie. We'll be quicker if we split up."

"I'll stay by the door. In case anyone comes in."

"Good plan," Remus agreed. He knew, really, that James was just anxious - all the pureblood mania never sat well with him. "I'd... rather not go in the basement," He said awkwardly to Sirius. "Any chance I can go up to Regulus's room?"

Sirius looked startled for a moment, before his face softened. "Yeah, of course. Fourth floor, straight ahead of you when you go right off of the stairs, not that there's anywhere else to go. It says his name on the door."

With that, Sirius, in two quick steps, proceeded to the basement.

Taking in a deep break, Remus turned to James. "You sure you'll be okay?"

"Yeah, of course, I will, Rem! I'll shout if I need anything, okay?"

"Okay." Remus nodded, reassured, and he began to head up the stairs. 

The rest of the house matched the hallway. With each floor that Remus went up, the rooms seemed to get darker, and the air seemed to get mustier. The first floor (because of course, Remus looked in every room, he was a Marauder after all) had a blank looking bedroom, bathroom and a large drawing room. In the drawing room was a large tapestry on the left wall, the one Remus had heard so much about, and he couldn't bring himself to spare more than a seconds glance. Going up, the second floor had the same bedroom and bathroom, and that was all - Remus presumed the high ceiling in the tapestry room was the reason for this. The third floor had, once again, the same plain bedroom and bathroom, but then a third, larger room that was nothing short of pristine. It was all silver and deep purple, with a grand king-size bed in the centre with a canopy over it, and Remus knew it was the master bedroom.

He then made it up to the fourth floor. Remus rounded the corner at the top of the stairs and found himself on the landing. At the far right of the landing was another set of stairs, thinner and bare wood, not carpeted. Then, next to that was a door. A brass plaque on the front of the mahogany wood read 'Regulus Arcturus Black'. Above the doorframe was another sign, far less formal and likely put up by Regulus himself, and it read ' _ Do Not Enter Without the Express Permission of Regulus Arcturus Black _ .'

_ Sorry, Reg, _ Remus shrugged,  _ but we have no choice. _

"Well, here goes nothing," Remus sighed to himself, pushing open the door. It was stiff, like it hadn't been opened in a while. At the thin layer of dust covering everything, and the clothes strewn on the floor, Remus guessed it probably hadn't.

Regulus's room was far from how Remus had imagined it. It was...rather bare, really. No posters or flags showed any sort of house pride as they did in James's room, and there weren't any cute trinkets like in Peter's room. There wasn't even the ridiculous amount of bookshelves like there were in Remus's room! The walls were dark green, almost grey, and there were silver accents to everything. Above the fireplace at the far end of the room was the painted Black family crest, and  _ Toujours Pur _ was above that. The only other thing that made the room look in any way personal was the various newspaper cuttings stuck next to the bed, and the photograph of the Slytherin Quidditch team when Regulus was in 6th year. Some newspaper clippings littered the ground, and others hung down loosely, as though they'd been torn down. It only took a brief look at one of the clippings beneath Remus's shoe to have shivers going down his spine. ' _ More muggle-born slain' _ , the title read in big, bold letters, ' _ Voldemort to blame once again?! _ '

Spinning on his heel, Remus distracted himself with looking for the locket. He didn't need to remember what Regulus was - used to be - like. 

A murderer.

He looked under the bed (there was nothing but dust) and tore back the duvet, throwing the pillows to the ground. His mind was still set on finding the locket, but somewhere in the back of his head, as he tore cushions from chairs and pushed everything off of the mantlepiece, he was aware of how therapeutic it all was. The floor was littered, destroyed boxes and photo frames on the ground haphazardly. Things were broken, crushed in his hand, trodden on, thrown against the wall. Remus didn't care about being quiet anymore, or tidy, or hidden. Anger, a wave of anger that seemed to rise from nowhere, took over his body. He was shaking, trembling, his throwing and pushing getting more and more violent. Everything felt hot. His cheeks were on fire. His muscles were tense, and he couldn't find it in himself to stop.  _ Why  _ was he so angry?! Maybe it was having been cooped up for so long. Perhaps it was everything that was happening was finally settling in. It could have been the moon, Remus wondered, noticing for the first time since stepping into the house that his side and leg was burning. 

Remus came to Regulus's desk, and began picking up everything, looking somewhat carefully before chucking all the unassuming objects on the floor. There wasn't much there, other than a couple of glass bottles and several quills. One of the glass bottles was filled with something, and upon smelling the lavender and valerian, he knew it was a sleeping potion. Nothing exciting. He opened the first draw, and rummaged through it fiercely, only to find stationery - paper, ink, more quills, a couple wax seal stamps and, oddly enough, multiple blank Howler letters. 

He moved to the other draw and found a box, small, green and silver. Remus reached for it in his flurry, grabbed it and barely pulled it out of the drawer before dropping it with a scream.

"Fuck!" 

Pain seared in his hand, hot, burning and stinging. The box clattered to the floor, but Remus could only focus on the heat on his flesh. He grabbed his wrist, turning his hand over, biting into his lip hard so he didn't scream anymore. He was still whimpering, his panting and whining loud in the silence of the room. The flesh on his hand was bright red, and there was a distinctive brocade pattern intended into his hand, and blisters were already beginning to appear. The pain began to subside, but everything was still burning. His head hurt, going light and dizzy as he realised what had happened. 

The pattern on the box had been real silver.

"Shit, shit!" He seethed, looking down once again at the burn on his hand. Remus was still gripping tightly to his wrist, as though to cut off the circulation and stop the pain. There was no way he could hide that from anyone, no chance! The scars might heal one day, perhaps, but only at the same rate as normal humans. 

"-ns, Remus!" A voice, James's, shouted from downstairs. "Are you okay?!"

Remus popped his head outside of the bedroom door to shout back. "Yeah, James! All good here!"

"I heard a bang, and you shouted, are you sure you're okay?"

"Perfectly okay," Remus bellowed back down the stairs, "Just dropped a box on my foot."

"Alright then! Hurry up! I really don't like it here..."

"Got it, Jamie..."

Remus turned back into the room to see that the offending box, when dropped, had opened up. From inside, tens, perhaps even a hundred or so, pieces of parchment had fallen out and were scattered across the floor. There was, however, no locket. 

Picking up one of the pieces of paper, one that was far away from the box and picked up with Remus's good hand, he read through it.

_ 23rd July 1977 _

_ Regulus, _

_ I miss you a lot. Summer's are boring when you're not around, and I'm sure it is for you too, now that Sirius has left. Is there any chance you can come to the cottage any time soon? I've decorated it all now, so it's not that horrible empty husk you insulted it for being anymore! It's rather quite pretty. I wish I'd bought a bigger place so you could have a room as well, but funds were, of course, limited.  _

_ I'll have to keep it brief for the moment - lots to still do around here. Please, write back soon. _

_ Yours, G. Selwyn. _

Remus picked up another letter. It was yet another from Gwyar to Regulus, talking about how they were, what they were up to. The notes covered every topic - there was some from 1973, Regulus's first Summer Holiday while at Hogwarts, where Gwyar explained how he was with yet another new place, but knew he wouldn't be there for long. There was a letter from '76, where Gwyar expressed how glad he was that Regulus and Remus had split up. There was another, where he comforted an apparently outraged Regulus that Sirius wasn't worth being stressed over. Letters covered them joining the Death Eaters, Voldemort's latest moves, Snape's new spells, the Order and their movements. 

The box contained seemingly every letter sent from Gwyar to Regulus all their way back to the first ever one. 

_ Reg! _

_ It's Gwyar! I hope it's okay to write to you! I should have asked on the train back, and I was going to ask when you got off, but you seemed in such a rush to get to Sirius that I thought it wasn't worth stopping you.  _

_ I finally saved up enough money to buy myself an owl! I call her Argentia, which I think is very pretty. Were you thinking of applying for the Quidditch Team next year? I think you should, you're awesome on a broom! I'm pretty crap, but I'll cheer you on for sure. Perhaps I'll even make a cool banner or something? You'd get on the team easily! _

_ Are you up to anything fun this summer? I'm hoping to sneak out and go to the beach soon, but they seem very strict, so I'm not sure. I might try and convince them to take us for a day out. Is it wrong to use the Imperius Curse so we can go?? _

_ Hope you write back!  _

_ Your friend - we are friends, right? We've never really talked about it, but I sure hope so! _

_ Gwyar! _

_ P.S. I added a picture of me with one of the other kids! He looks a lot like you, but smiles more! Thought it was funny. _

Folded up in the parchment was a picture of Gwyar Vaughan as he looked in his first year. He had a bit of a rounder face, his nose seemed large, like he was yet to grow into it, and had a wide, bright smile that Remus could have sworn he'd never seen. Gwyar in the picture had his arm thrown around a shorter boy who was the spitting image of Regulus, other than the equally bright smile on his face.

Without another thought, Remus tucked the letter and the photograph into his pocket. 

_ Well _ , he thought, looking at the carnage in the room, then looking down at his cooling, yet still painful, hand,  _ no locket in here _ . 

He stepped out of the room, and closed the door behind him, as though to pretend he'd done nothing. Remus considered for a moment going up to the attic, when he saw another door. There was a similar brass plaque to Regulus's room, but read 'Sirius Orion Black'. However, the name looked dull and a little scratched, as though someone had tried to get rid of it. It only took a moment of hesitation for Remus to reach out with his right hand, ignoring the pain as he gripped the doorknob, and pushed it open. 

Sirius's room was jarring. It was absolutely covered in red and gold, with Gryffindor flags, posters, scarfs and others pinned up to the walls. There were photos next to the bed of the four Marauders, some Muggle and some moving. There were a fair few of just Remus and Sirius, often cuddled up or kissing, and it sent a pang of... something through Remus's heart. Regret? Longing? The room was messy, dusty, and there wasn't a single piece of wall that was blank. There were more posters, some of motorcycles and cars and punk bands, others with women in bikinis and-

Only then did Remus realise he was being stared at. 

Bloodshot eyes were locked with his, and it sent panic rushing through him. Staring at him was a house-elf, one that Remus had seen on Platform nine and three quarters a few times over their years at Hogwarts. This was Kreacher.

Kreacher was standing on an old wooden stool, his hands grasping at the corner of one of the posters - this time of a shirtless muggle man - as though he had been trying to pull it off. Not possible, Remus knew. Sirius had stuck them up there with permanent sticking charms. 

"Mistress would be most displeased knowing there are half-breeds wandering around her beloved home," He muttered in a low, croaky voice. He glared at Remus, stepping off the stool and walking towards him. "Filthy half breed with dirty blood... Every kind of scum in the Most Ancient and Noble House of Black."

"Ah, h-hello to you- you too, K-Kreacher," Remus stammered, anxious at being caught. It was a miracle that Kreacher hadn't already come into Regulus's room when Remus had created so much noise.

"Dare I ask if he is with you?"

"Sirius? O-oh, I- I mean..."

"My mistress... she hates him, hates her blood traitor son... What would she say to Kreacher if she knew he was here..."

"I'm sure she'd be most displeased!" A mocking voice laughed. 

Remus spun on his heel, startled at the voice to find Sirius and James in the doorway, panting, having just run up the stairs. 

"Master Sirius," Kreacher drawled, looking oddly at the tall man. "That's not yours to take."

Only then did Remus notice what was tight in Sirius's grip. He was holding a tarnished silver chain, and from the end of it, was a heavy-looking charm. The charm - or rather, locket - was a flaxen yellow gem, almost brown with ageing, edged with rusted silver and had a green S in the middle. 

"It was in the basement," Sirius said to Remus, holding it up a little, "We've got it, we can go now."

"Thank fuck," James muttered, shaking his head. "Let's go before-"

They heard the front door open.

It creaked open with the same groan as when Sirius pushed it open earlier, and was followed by the sharp sound of high heels on wood.

"Fuck, fuck!" Sirius hissed, glancing between Kreacher, Remus, James and the stairway in panic, wondering what the hell they were going to do next. They couldn't go back down now! And there was no way to apparate from within the building, either. "What the fuck do we do now, Moony?!"

"I don't know you daft mutt! This is your home!"

"Well, I don't know either!"

Then, a scratchy voice called upstairs. "Who's there?! Who's in my sacred home! Kreacher, is that you?"

Sirius, wide eyes, stared at Remus. Remus looked at James, who looked petrified, and then Kreacher, who seemed to be smirking, or as much as his sagging skin would allow. Think, think! There were no windows in Sirius's room, no other exit besides the front and back door downstairs, unless-

"Quick!" He whispered as he heard heavy footsteps coming up the first flight of stairs, and Walburga Black calling for Kreacher once more. Remus ran, ignoring the pain in his leg and hand and side, out of Sirius's room, past Regulus's, and up the rickety attic stairs. 

The attic was crowded, dusty, but Remus didn't pay attention for long. He looked between everything, across the ceiling, until he saw the awning window that jutted out of the roof. He pushed through, knocking over old portraits that shouted in protest, pushing desks and side tables until he got through to the window. 

" _ Alohamora _ !"

There was a click, and the window opened a little. Remus reached up to push it open, stiff against the harsh wind of January, before he began clambering through. The footsteps were getting louder and louder, and a look over his shoulder confirmed that Sirius and James were terrified. They looked anxious, unsettled, hopping from foot to foot and looking between the attic door and Remus. After a boost from James, Remus was resting on the outside frame of the window.

His hand burned as he shifted to the side, sitting on the roof tiles and looking over the London skyline. His friends, thankfully, needed no other direction, and soon James followed through. He flopped, breathless, onto the roof on the other side of the window, peering in. He grabbed the hand that reached out, and helped to hoist Sirius through until they were all on the roof. Sirius had the locket around his neck, leaving his hands free and planted firmly on the roof tiles.

"What now, Moony?!" Sirius shouted. The wind was loud, whistling in their ears, and cold against their faces. It was, however, pleasantly welcomed by the searing pain on Remus's right hand. Remus reached over the open window, and wrapped one arm around Sirius and James. With the other, he got out his wand, making the quick motion and- 

Nothing.

"You can't apparate from up here?!" 

"No!" Sirius shook his head, "Mother was too smart for that!"

"Fuck, then-"

Remus, letting his grip on his friends drop, began to stand. His left leg, sore and weak, slipped, and Sirius tried to reach out for him. With their help, Remus made it over the window, until he was sat between Sirius and James. It was difficult with the city noise and howling wind, but Remus was sure he heard steps coming up to the attic.

Remus tried to stand once again, holding James and Sirius's hands. 

"Stand up, both of you!"

"Remus, we-"

"Stand up."

They did, unsteady and rocking, their feet at unusual angles to compensate for the wind and the slant of the roof. They could see down to the ground now, five floors below them, and it, that moment, seemed as scary as looking off of the astronomy tower. 

Sirius's hand was shaking in his, and he was squeezing it tight. 

"Do you trust me?" Remus asked, not to James, not to them both, but to Sirius.

"Rem..." Sirius faltered. "I-"

" _ Do you trust me _ ?"

"Yes."

Remus bent his knees, and looked straight ahead. 

"Good. Now jump!"

He waited for no response, and pushed himself from the roof, dragging James and Sirius with him. 

_ Think, think, think.  _

He  _ had  _ to focus. 

They were plummeting to the ground. Fast. Now was not the time for wandless magic to fail him. Remus squeezed his eyes shut as tight as he could. He could picture it in his mind so vividly, from the white fence to the wonky roof to the overgrown lavender bush in the corner of the garden. 

They kept falling, and then-

Remus hit the ground. 

It didn't hurt anywhere near as much as it should have done. There was still a pain in his chest, and he could almost count on the fall having opened the wound on his leg. Pressure remained in his hands, and he squeezed the fingers laced with his as though to assure himself he wasn't dead. No, he wasn't, that was for sure. He was too warm, too sore, to be dead. 

Something was tickling his cheek, and he eventually blinked his eyes open to look. There was grass right in front of his face, bright and vivid and green as he'd remembered it, and it made his heart ache. 

"W-what the fuck, R-Rem-  _ argh _ ," James coughed from beside him, also laying with his chest to the floor. He was wheezing and, just like Remus, likely winded, too. "You apparated in mid-air, you tw-" He was cut off by another cough, and a groan, this time from Sirius. Remus eventually released the tight grip on his friend's hands and used them to push himself up, resembling something like a cobra pose as he looked ahead of him. At least they apparated to the right place.

Sirius did the same, but flopped back on his bum and hands, looking up to the sky as he desperately caught his breath. "Moons, where are we?"

It took nothing but a gesturing nod from Remus for Sirius to realise. The cottage hadn't changed. There was the same ivy crawling up the side, if not more. The garden was still overgrown, and the whole building looked dull and derelict, like nothing more than a light breeze would send it tumbling down. 

"That, Padfoot," Remus smiled cynically, shrugging a little, "Is home, sweet home."


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reading back on this, I'm not as pleased with this chapter as I was when I wrote it, but I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless! <3
> 
> Writing has,,, really slowed up but there's still 8 weeks of backlog :) <3
> 
> Trigger/Content Warnings:   
> \- Burns/Injuries  
> \- Implied emotional abuse? Neglect? Maybe? I'm not sure how to tag that-

_ 23rd January 1981 _

_ Lily, Regulus, Gwyar (and Harry!) _

_ We have the locket. Won't go into detail, but we've got it. Got caught, so we haven't gone back to the estate we were at before. We (Remus) thought they might catch on and check there first. We're safe and okay though, I promise you that, but we can't tell you all where we are now just in case. We'll move about a bit, and once we know we're definitely okay, we'll send another letter. Now, it's just working out where the other Horcruxes are and how to destroy them.  _

_ Could Gwyar write and send a list of absolutely everything he knows, so we have it in writing and can keep track? Thanks. _

_ Hope you're all staying safe. _

_ Love, the Marauders. _

***

Remus watched as Sirius licked the envelope seal, and stuck it down before giving it to Laikada, who hooted before flying out of the window.

The air was thick. 

James was at the dining table, fiddling with his thumbs and looking around the kitchen at everything but another human. Sirius, directly to his left, was still staring out of the window as Laikada flew off into the slowly setting sun. To Sirius's left, on the other side of the table, Remus was staring down, sparing a glance at the figure by the counter when he could pluck up the courage. 

Lyall Lupin, just as his home, hadn't changed. The grey hair on his head was thin, sparse, and his skin seemed heavy and sagging. His eyes were the opposite to his sons, a pale blue as opposed to Remus's bright, vivid amber ones. The clothes he wore seemed nicer than the ones Remus saw him wearing as a child, and there was only one explanation for that. He could, now that Remus wasn't home, get a better job. 

Resting one hand on the counter, as though too frail to keep himself upright without it, Lyall poured the water from the teapot into four mugs, all a little worn and chipped. He was shaking enough that the water, every once in a while, would spill over the edge and onto the marked wooden counter. Remus seemed to let out a breath when his father set the teapot down. 

He'd not really spoken to his dad since he left home. Since he said goodbye on the platform before his last year at Hogwarts. Remus's relationship with his father was strained, to say the least. His mother, as overbearing and paranoid and panicked as she was, showered Remus with enough love for the both of them. When Hope passed away, however, she left a gap. She'd taken that love with her, and left nothing but his father's stone-cold expressions, and unconvincing arguments that he didn't hate his own son. 

"How've you been?" Lyall eventually asked, not looking his son in the eye as he placed the mug in front of him. He placed another two in front of James and Sirius, a gesture met with quiet and curt thank yous. 

"I- Good. Fine. Good." Remus said. "Uh- what about- what about you?"

"Fine."

Silence fell once more. 

Remus winced as he felt a kick on his right shin, and he looked up to see Sirius looking at him anxiously, narrowed eyes and raised eyebrows. 

"I'm fine," Remus mouthed when his father had his back turned. By the look on his face, Remus guessed Sirius didn't believe him. 

Lyall sat down at the table, opposite Remus, cupping the mug in his hands. 

"I- uh, we need... we need somewhere to stay. Just for a little while."

Scoffing lightly, Lyall shook his head. "Well, you're already here. You can stick to one room, though."

"Y-yeah, we're fine in- in my room. If it's still there," Remus added hurriedly, realising he hadn't been home in five years now. There were no corrections, so Remus assumed his room was still intact. Sirius and James seemed to be muttering between them, loud enough that Remus should have heard, but he couldn't make out more than a little mumbling. Their voices seemed distant, muffled like he couldn't process anything. Remus couldn't focus - he didn't know if it was because of the look on his father's face, the frankly agonising soreness in his hand or the dulling ache of his legs. 

Slowly, Sirius picked up his mug and took a sip of the (frankly disgusting) tea, loudly slurping as he did so, and Remus couldn't help but laugh. 

"Sorry to turn up out of the blue, Lyall," James apologised, sheepishly, before having some of his own drink.

"It's Mr Lupin," Lyall corrected, "And I don't care, as long as you haven't brought any trouble to my peaceful life."

"We haven't, Father," Remus assured. He didn't think he was lying at first, until he caught sight of where the tarnished silver chain was peeking out from under Sirius's shirt.

"You better not have. I suppose you're still working for Dumbledore, hm? Fighting a useless bloody battle, no doubt."

"Not useless," Remus mumbled. 

"Speak up, boy, you know I hate when you mumble."

"It's not useless. We've made progress. I've helped out a lot."

"What progress can a Were- never mind. Fine, stay here, but I want no mess and no trouble, got it? And if I find you and your-" Lyall turned to Sirius snarling a little, " _ Friend  _ up to anything, you're out straight away. I won't have any of that in my house."

"That won't happen, Mr Lupin," Sirius said, tight-lipped and frowning. 

Remus watched his dad give a quick nod, as though he wasn't thoroughly convinced, before he stood up. "I'm going to bed. Turn off the lights when you're done. I have work tomorrow so I might not see you before I leave." He dumped his mug, still full, by the sink and swiftly left the room, clambering up the stairs and muttering to himself.

Even once they all heard the bedroom door slam shut, they stayed in the horribly tense silence they were in before. 

"So," James cheered, overly jovial, "That was pleasant, wasn't it?!"

Remus pushed up out of his seat, the unstable wooden chair legs squeaking across the floorboards, sending shivers up Remus's spine. He grabbed the remaining mugs, all also full, and took them to the sink. He grabbed onto the counter, leaning his weight on it and squeezing his eyes shut and pressing his lips together tightly. He tried to take in a deep breath, but it came in shaky and stuttering. 

"Moons, how long are we gonna be here?" Sirius asked, out of his own seat but staying near the table. "Because with absolutely no respect at all, your dad-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence, okay? You  _ will  _ treat my father with respect."

"Rem-"

"No, Sirius, don't. My father has every right to hate me for who I am, alright? He sacrificed a lot for me growing up."

It was true, too. Job, friends; Lyall had given it all up for Remus. Sure, his father couldn't stand who he was (take your pick, Remus was a Queer, Liberal Werewolf) and his mother was no longer there as a buffer, but his dad deserved respect for all he gave up. He was just annoyed that Remus had returned, bringing all his issues and problems and wolfy-ness back into Lyall's now peaceful, calm, perfect fucking life.

Pain shot through Remus's hand, and he realised he was gripping far too tightly onto the edge of the counter, but he couldn't find it in him to let go. 

Then, a hand rested on his shoulder, and he saw James was at his side. "Come on, Rem. Let's go on up."

***

_ 23rd January 1981 _

_ Lupin. _

_ All I know is: _

_ -There are at least three Horcruxes. _

_ -You have one of them. _

_ \- One of these is a ring of significance to Voldemort. Dumbledore is finding out all about his past as he can to give us a clue.  _

_ \- The last is in possession of a Death Eater. _

_ That is, unfortunately, it. I am trying to gather other information, but seeing as they know what I did, it's proving difficult. Do let me know if you have other questions. _

_ G.C.V _

***

"Anything of use?" Sirius asked, shrugging off his shirt (the shirt had been owned by Charlus Potter, who'd been a large man, and therefore drowned him in fabric). 

"No, nothing." Remus scrunched up the letter in his left hand, before chucking it into the small metal bin. "Well, nothing that we didn't already know. Best bet now is to wait and see what Dumbledore comes up with, I think."

"That arrived quickly. The letter, I mean."

"Yeah, they must be- uh, close by, I think? James, where are they, again?"

"Hm?" James looked over to Remus, finally tearing his eyes off of the bookcase in Remus's room. 

"Lily, Reg and Gwyar, where are they?"

"Uh, not sure," He shrugged, turning back to the bookshelf, and pulling out a copy of Thin Ice by Compton Mackenzie. He began flicking through it, chose a random page, and flopped onto Remus's childhood bed, still in his jeans and t-shirt.

"Getting changed, James?" Remus asked, unable to cover his laugh as James tried to delve into the story, even though he was starting halfway through. 

"Nah, I'm good! You know me!"

Sirius snorted. "Could sleep in a bloody barn if he was tired enough." Folding the shirt, Sirius smiled over at Moony. "Anything I can borrow to sleep in?" 

Even after knowing each other for almost ten years, despite having dated for four of those years, Remus still felt heat rushing to his face at the sight of Sirius shirtless. "I- uh, yeah-" He stammered, heading to his wardrobe, hoping and praying there would be something in there that would fit Sirius and wasn't moth-eaten. Remus flicked through it. There were old Hogwarts uniforms that never got mended, sweaters he owned at twelve and likely could still wear at twenty, and jeans ruined from prank ideas and potion mishaps. Then, Remus found two jumpers at the back, both of which had been Sirius's once upon a time. He took them out, and kept the tie-dye one for himself, before passing the other (grey with the Hogwarts Crest on it) to its original owner. 

"That'll have to do for now," Remus said as Sirius laid the shirt on the back of a chair, then tugged the jumper on. It was a little small for him now, but not so much that he'd be uncomfortable. "Deal with that and boxers now, and we can get some washing done once- uh, once dad has gone in the morning. Tomorrow, we'll go up into the attic and get everything down, and the day after we go shopping in the village?"

"Sounds good, Moony," Sirius smiled sleepily. "Sleeping arrangements?"

"I'll grab some blankets and camp out on the floor, you and James take the bed."

"Not a chance! You need the bed, Rem, your leg!"

"I'm fine," He insisted, a strange spike of anger prickling over his skin. "I'm gonna go and get the blankets - they're in the cupboard in the bathroom - and then we can settle down for the night. Do you guys need anything?"

Both James and Sirius shook their heads. 

The blankets weren't in the bathroom - they were at the back of Remus's wardrobe in a tattered cardboard box. But everything was so bright, so tiring, he needed a moment to himself, away from the watchful eyes of his concerned friends. 

Remus nodded, and left his bedroom, heading down the hall to the small bathroom. 

He managed to get in, lock the door, and slump against it, before letting out a painful sob. He grabbed at his wrist and looked at his palm. It was worse than it was before, scarlet and umber and bloody. Even amongst the blood and blistering, the box pattern was still visible on his palm in red-stained tracks. His hand was practically throbbing with the pain, and Remus, attempting not to scream, was sure he was going to bite clean through his lip. Shaking, his left hand reached out to the sink, and he turned it on. The water came out as little more than a drip (the water pressure was as crap as ever, so it seemed). The burnt hand went underneath, and Remus bit down further on his lip, whimpering as tears slid down his cheeks. He could taste blood in his mouth, and he felt himself swaying with dizziness. He tried to swallow, but his mouth felt dry. The pain in his hand, his leg and side, the flavour of copper in his mouth and the  _ drip-drip-dripp _ ing of the water onto his seared flesh was almost too much. His knees buckled, but before he reached out to grab the counter, someone had wrapped their arms around his waist, holding him up, pinning him between their body and the counter.

"Shit! Remus! Your hand!"

The voice seemed distant and far away, but Remus knew it was James. He smiled softly to himself, looking into the mirror with a clouded vision to see his best friend grabbing onto him. 

"What the fuck happened!?" James grumbled, shifting Remus with no difficulty until he was resting, slumped up against the wall. He took Remus's hand and lightly brushed his thumb over the edge of the burn. He flinched when Remus cried out. 

"S-s-s-sil-silver..." He stammered out, his eyelids feeling oh so heavy. "O-one of t-the boxes- boxes in-"

"Regulus's room," James cottoned on. "Right, okay. Sirius was always better at healing than me, so he can do it."

"W-w-won't w-work. Dark m-magic."

"But he can help at least a bit. Why didn't you say, Moons?"

Remus went to open his mouth until he felt James's arm on the back of his knees, lifting him up. He was cradled like a baby, taken out of the bathroom, and down the corridor. Any other time, he'd have begged to be put down, but tiredness and pain were taking over, and he couldn't find the words to tell James to stop. 

"S-so much was going... going on..." He said with a pained yawn. "L-locket, Dad… I d-didn’t even r-r-realise ho-how mu-m-much it really hurt until just now..."

"Oh, you daft idiot," James shook his head fondly. "You'll never bloody learn, will you?"

Remus couldn't help but laugh. 

The door to his bedroom opened, and James stepped in. There was a choked gasp from Sirius, who scrambled off of the bed he was stretched out on. James lowered him onto the bed, which (while in his youth was thin and lumpy) was so soft he could almost -  _ almost _ -drift off to sleep.

"Rem, I know you're in pain, but please stay awake," Sirius said, scrambling to his side and holding the back of his hand. Remus blinked slowly, looking over to Sirius, his dark hair standing out against the bulb's bright light. Everything was hot and sore, and he was so tired. Gently, Sirius lifted his arm up, looking closely at the blood and burn. James, behind him, paced back and forth, biting at his nails and taking anxious glances to Remus on the bed. "This might sting a bit," He murmured, lifting his wand and pointing it at Remus's hand. The last thing Remus saw was the white of the ceiling, and Sirius's nervous expression.

***

Remus's body still felt lethargic as he pushed himself upright, blinking in an attempt to wake up. Everything was still a little fuzzy, the white of the walls blending into the pale flooring. At first, he'd expected to feel pain, that same burning sensation over his palm, possibly even spreading up his forearm. There was no pain, however. Once the world came back into focus, Remus lifted his right hand shakily, and looked down at it. It- it didn't look good. Skin was brown and leathery and peeling. There were still blisters, and still marks embedded in his flesh from the box. But, he could flex his hand, and almost curl his hand into a fist with considerably less pain than earlier. 

Then, there was a bang - the same bang Remus recognised as the one that woke him up in the first place. 

He turned his head to see Sirius drop a massive box on the floor, huffing as he did. 

"H-how long was I out?" Remus asked sleepily. 

Sirius looked over to him, and his face lit up with a wide smile. Brushing the hair out of his face with the back of his hand, Sirius sighed with relief. "A while," He chuckled, "Well, you passed out around seven last night, and it is now... two, so nineteen hours? Twenty?"

"Fuckin' hell... what happened?"

"Apparently Werewolves really don't mix well with silver."

"Yeah. No shit."

"You passed out the second I tried to heal it. James and I think that silver causes pain worse than a human just being burnt. Like... ten times worse than if I set you on fire. And healing spells don't work either, as it turns out. You screamed out in pain, and that was it, complete blackout. In the end, I just did something to stop it from hurting, James went into the garden to grab stuff to mix up a quick healing salve from one of your old textbooks, and we left you to rest. How are you feeling?"

"Tired," Remus smiled, shaking his head. He moved to get out of bed, pushing back the covers, when James came in and tutted. He, too, was holding a cardboard box and dropped it with a huff. 

"Ah, ah, ah-" James reprimanded, waving a hand as he moved to sit on the end of Remus's bed. "You're on bed rest, mate."

"Oh, come on, James, I feel fine. Just a little sleepy. Lemme up."

"Not a chance! Consider it a punishment for not telling us you got burnt! We know how much you hate to rest..."

"Too right!" Remus scoffed. "Fine, but then you two have to go up into the attic and-" Finally, it clicked, and Remus saw that Sirius's cardboard box had 'Camping stuff' written on the side in his mother's messy scrawl. "Ah."

Sirius opened the box and started rummaging around in it. "So, you tell us what we need, Jamie and I will grab it, and then we'll figure out how to take it all with us."

"No need," Remus started. "I know how. Uh... James, in my wardrobe, up at the top, there should be a satchel? My old fabric school one- yeah, that's it. Bring it here for me, thanks. Now-" Remus went to reach into his coat pocket, only to realise he wasn't wearing his coat anymore. "Guys, my coat? I didn't take it off last night! It has something important in it, as well as my wand! W-w-wait, where's t-the locket!? A-and-"

"Moons!" Sirius shouted, "Calm down! Here, your coat," He said, taking the coat that was hanging on the back of the bedroom door. He then pulled down the collar of the shirt he wore yesterday (now cleaned) to show off the locket chain. "See, it's all good!"

Shoving his hands into his pockets fast, Remus felt around until he found, firstly, his wand which he pulled out and threw onto the duvet, and then the letter and photograph, which he kept firmly tucked away in his pocket. After muttering his thanks to Sirius, Remus grabbed his wand and the satchel. 

The wood of his wand, despite how perfectly polished and glossed it was, felt sharp and painful against the burn. He gripped it tightly, pointed it at the bag. He said a quick ' _ Capacious extremis' _ and flicked his wrist. 

"Uh- Sirius, in that box of camping stuff," He said, gesturing vaguely. 

"Yeah?"

"Grab me... the lantern and the sleeping cots to start with."

Sirius did as said. The sleeping cots were flat and folded, but still too big to fit one in the satchel, let alone two. Either way, Remus opened the bag and dropped it inside. Then, he did the same with the other, followed by the lantern.

"What the fuck-" James blurted out, watching jaw-dropped from the doorway.

"Moons, that's amazing!" 

"How'd you do that?!"

"Idiots," Remus muttered, amused. "I used the same thing on my bag at the Full Moons in school, remember? So I could take everything with me without Pomfrey, or you lot at first, knowing!"

"You, my dear moons," Sirius exclaimed in a way that made Remus's heart flutter a little, "Are a genius! Is there a limit to what we can take?" 

"Not that I know of. Right, we need... tent for emergencies - we can do the same extension charm on that so we can fit - and any other camping stuff, blankets, first aid stuff. There should be more books up in the attic too, my father's old ones. Grab them all, they might have something about Horcruxes in them, who knows? Then, tomorrow, we'll go and get clothes from in the village. Sound good?"

James grinned, turning to head out of the room and back up to the attic. "Sounds perfect! Do you need anything in the meantime?"

Remus thanked him, but said no, and sent his friend on his way. Sirius hovered for a moment, staring at him in a mix of awe and worry. 

"Padfoot, you okay?"

"I- yeah, all good," He smiled, a little bewildered. "We're really doing this, aren't we?"

"That we are. I've got some letters to write first, and then maybe I'll be okay to get out of bed and help?"

"Only if you feel up to it, Rem, okay?"

"Okay."

Another nod, and Sirius left the room to get more boxes. Remus could hear laughing and banging above him, and shook his head at his friend's antics. It was a shock they'd yet to fall through the ceiling! He opened his bedside drawer, grabbing the parchment and self-inking quill he kept under the false bottom of the draw as a child. Then, sitting with his back resting on the headboard, he lent on the copy of Thin Ice, and began to write. 

***

_ 24th January 1981 _

_ Regulus, _

_ Hey, Reg. Hope you're holding up okay. I know I said I wasn't going to write, but I wanted to update you on things. Feel free to let Lily know I wrote, but please avoid telling her anything I say. It'll only worry her. _

_ We're currently at my childhood home (thank goodness no-one knows where I lived) with my father. We're only here to gather up supplies before we head off, like clothes and emergency gear in a worst-case scenario. Things are going to be a little slow at the moment, though. The moon wasn't great, and I was left more than a little injured. Then, when at Grimmauld Place, I grabbed onto a box that was made out of silver and, well, you can make your assumptions.  _

_ I did, however, find some fascinating things in said box. I sent over a letter I found and a picture, from Gwyar when you were both younger. I thought it might be nice for you to both see. I wanted to get more, but we had other things to deal with first. Hopefully one day, you can go back and get them. _

_ I'm on forced bedrest (James's idea) until I get better, which shouldn't take too long. Once we've got everything, I think we'll move again, perhaps somewhere muggle to keep people off the scent for a while. Has Dumbledore figured anything out? We can't really do much now without any advice. I know he's not happy with us for going, but he agreed to help, and now, help is more valuable than ever. We want to avoid another month of sitting around and waiting. _

_ Are you doing okay? I hope you're helping out with Harry as best as you can, I know he can be a bit of a handful. James is really missing him, so if you can get any pictures of him, that would be wonderful.  _

_ Sirius misses you. He won't say it, and we've not talked about it, but he does. Write to him, maybe? _

_ If I don't hear from you soon, I'll write when we're at our next location. _

_ Please, stay safe. _

_ Remus. _

_ P.S. Kreacher is a tosser, you're a good man for wanting to save him. _

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [It Might Have Been A Nightmare](https://archiveofourown.org/works/29044992) by [AQuietThinker](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AQuietThinker/pseuds/AQuietThinker)




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